A Flurry of Life
by mynameisdrama
Summary: It all starts with a wedding. But can that wedding survive if there still are secrets left unspoken? Or feelings being buried? Story set a few years after "The Great Thaw". [Elsanna] but with a couple of surprises along the way. I might have let Dark!Elsa slip out of her cage...
1. Chapter 1 - The wedding

So, this is my first story. I must warn you, my dear reader, that the journey won't be easy. I already have the outline of the story and you are going to go deep. But don't despair for all will end well for those who are strong and have hope.

I have OCD, so I have a very organised schedule. That being said, I always write on Mondays and Thursdays, so expect updates on these days. At least initially.

I don't have a beta, so all mistakes are mine. I tried my best to fix everything, but a few might have passed by me.

Anyway, I won't say much about the story. I'd like to keep it a surprise ;)

Hope you guys enjoy it. Reviews and criticisms are always welcome.

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Chapter 1 - The wedding

So, the day had come. The day of my wedding and I could hardly believe it. I mean, who would have thought that I was going to get married. Me of all people. Someone that wasn't really that keen on interacting with people. A loner. But, anyway, it was my wedding day. And I couldn't contain the smile.

Trying to suppress the urge to just burst in laughter, I took one last look at the mirror. My blonde hair was combed back, revealing all the details of my face that once were hidden behind bangs. It's incredible what just a little bit of ice can do. Way better than mousse.

I couldn't contain the little laughter that escaped my lips. I looked so dapper, with my hair combed back, the bow tie on my neck, the gray vest and black penguin suit. I don't really care for its name. She had been the once that insisted on the formal, proper wedding. If I had had my way, we would have been married on the mountains, surrounded by snow and ice. But she had to have a spring wedding, so be it.

"Are you ready?"

Looking through the mirror, I saw Olaf standing behind me by the door. He looked positively adorable with his little bow tie... on his head. I frown.

"Olaf, you know the bow tie goes on your neck, right?" I said without turning towards him. I kinda liked seeing the both of us in the same frame on the mirror. He had become a good buddy.

He looked at me confused. "But I don't have a neck. Or bones. Or a skull."

I laughed and, giving up on trying to imprint the picture of the two of us in my brain, I walked up to him, kneeling so I could take the tie from the top of his head and place it around its base.

"There, there. Now you look like a proper man."

Making a face, he complained "But I don't want to look like a man. Men work all day and slave away in the sun" I thought I really had to stop him from getting close to Ariel... "and all I wanna do is smell the flowers and roll around with Sven!"

I rolled my eyes at that. Olaf and Sven actually had proved themselves to be a real menace. Everywhere they went, destruction followed suit. I lost count of how many gardens had to be replanted just because they picked up all the flowers and rolled on top of them.

"You know, Olaf, you should stay away from gardens. I've never seen a snowman that was allergic to flowers (although I've never seen a walking and talking snowman like you), but you sure have a bad case of allergies. You almost lost you head the last time!"

"But, but, I love summer and all things summer!"

"We are in spring."

He looked at me surprised and, then, like he had a revelation, held his head above his little body. "Oh yeah, that's right! Anna wanted to have a spring wedding so she could put all kinds of flowers in her head. Oh oh oh" He started to do little jumps that hardly got him an inch above the ground "I actually helped picking them, did you know that. And that girl... what's her name... she said she used to have reaaaaaaally long blonde magical hair, though I think it's kind of crazy. I mean, magical hair." He snorted and laughed.

"Her name's Rapunzel, Olaf."

"Yes! Rapunzel. She's nice. She gives me really warm hugs. Though not as warm as Anna's."

I nodded and smiled. No one could give warmer hugs than Anna. She was the embodiment of all things hot as everything about her was hot and explosive. From her temperament to her warm and caring interaction with others. She was indeed like summer: always ready to warm people with frozen hearts. Like mine.

"You're not listening to me!" _Plaft_. Did he really just throw a snowball at me? And was he really standing with that condescending look on his face, hands on hips?

"OLAF! You're going to ruin my hair and clothes! It took me a while to get presentable like this. I'm not used to suits!"

He completely ignored my outburst. "As I was saying, Rapunzel made a beautiful arrangement on Anna's hair. All sorts of flowers. Did I mentioned that I helped pick them? Anyway, she did it and I went to look closely at Anna's hair cause it was so pretty. That's when the sneezes started and I got asked to come here and see if you were ready." He looked at me as if he couldn't see the enormous damp spot I now had on my coat.

"I was! Before you threw a snowball at me! Now what am I going to do to get this dry?"

""mmm perhaps..." Something caught his eye through the window. "Look! Sven it's outside. I am gonna go play." He went to the window and yelled to Sven through the closed glass. "SVEN! Wait for me!"

And just like that he paddled back and out of the room, leaving me with a wet coat. Anna was going to kill me.

I went into the adjoining bathroom looking for towels, something that would dry the coat. Having found only the one I used after my bath, I sighed and started patting the spot, hoping that it wouldn't do more damage.

Going back to the bedroom I looked outside my window, enjoying the view of Olaf and Sven playing. I still found it impressive that they could have developed such a close relationship. I mean, a reindeer and a snowman? A reindeer that loved carrots and a snowman that had a huge carrot as his nose? It would be impossible to work out. And yet, there they were. Both so different and yet so alike. They had that freedom and joy we could only find in children. They laughed at nothing and everything. They simply enjoyed life as it came, no worries whatsoever.

Was that what freedom was all about? Doing whatever you wanted and not taking life seriously? How could their world work like this? What about responsibilities? Of course it didn't matter for them. They had all of us to solve their problems. We fixed the gardens and we fed them. We took care of them.

My jacket would not get dry anyway. I sighed. Sometimes I wished I had someone to take care of me... Well, technically, from that day on I would have. Anna had always made sure she told me time and time again that, now, I wouldn't have to be alone anymore. She would be there to take care of me. Wish that she would be here to fix my jacket now...

Perhaps Kai would be able to help me. I turned towards the door to go find the man. Speaking of the devil.

"Hi, Kai."

"What happened to your jacket? Are you okay? Are you bleeding?" He looked really concerned. I almost laughed at his worry about a wet jacket.

"No, Gods, no, Kai. Olaf threw a snowball at me, the little bugger and I've been trying to dry my jacket, to no avail."

"Oh. If that's only that, I'll fetch another one. Princess Anna had two made. She just knew something could go wrong."

"Wait, what? Two jackets?" I snorted. "Did she ask two dresses to be made as well?"

Kai looked at me with an expression that left me no doubt that she had indeed ordered two dresses. I rubbed my free hand over my face. "I can't actually believe it" I muttered.

"I'll go fetch the jacket. You might as well take that wet one off."

What was Anna thinking? Getting two jackets, two dresses. She had been so out of character those past few months, actually obsessing about the wedding. Anna preparing and planning for things? I couldn't help but feeling that something was wrong in this story, but I always pushed those thoughts away and took it as for she was really happy to be getting married to me.

Kai returned to the room carrying a brand new jacket, still inside the plastic bag. He took it off and handed it to me.

"Princess Rapunzel told me Princess Anna will be ready in thirty minutes. I'm still surprised she's going to be on time." So was I, to be honest.

"Thank you, Kai. I'll be heading down, then, to the chapel."

He nodded and left. I turned back to the mirror, putting on the jacket, straightening it until it was impossible to find one single crease and readjusting the perfect aligned tie. When I finished, I let my arms fall and sighed, really looking at my face.

I was happy, wasn't I? That was what I had always wanted since we had started dating. Nothing would change much as we already lived together and spent almost all day together. What was just a foolish ceremony and a piece of paper?

And she wanted it as well. She was so excited about it. Everything would be alright. It was time to head down.

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The chapel was so beautiful. I was impressed with the amazing work Anna had done. Not that I had ever doubted that she was capable of it, but, I mean, it's Anna we're talking about. She ordered two dresses so just she'd have a spare in case she ruined the first one.

White lilies covered the place, making it look like the small chapel was covered in a snow of flowers. They were on the sides of the pews and over them, crossing the room horizontally and vertically. Green gardenias freckled the whole place, making it impossible not to see Anna's personal touch in the decoration. I don't think I've ever seen her not wearing something green.

The carpet extending from the entrance towards the altar was purple and blue, a constant reminder that it was Arendelle's royalty that was getting married.

A piano was playing a soft tune in the distance, though it couldn't be heard well under the constant chatter of people gossiping and talking. I'd never seen so many people together in one place. And they were all there just to see Anna and I join in matrimony. It was like they were prying, invading our private life and I was not sure I was comfortable with all those eyes focused on me.

Pulling on the edges of my white glove, I swallowed and concentrated on what would happen in a few moments. In just a while, Anna would walk down the aisle and I'd head down the few steps towards her and offer my arm. And, then, after a ceremony of nordic words I couldn't possibly ever understand, we'd be married. Forever. That thought made my heart flutter and my stomach clench. It was a good feeling, right?

I saw Olaf paddling towards the entrance of the chapel, a small cushion on his small wooden hands and I knew it was about to start. Just like that, a few notes sounded louder on the piano, people quieted down and the first notes of a nuptial march took over.

And that was when I saw her: beautiful in her stark white dress, a bouquet of green gardenias on her hand. If we weren't in public I would have had to bend down to pick a jaw that would have been on the floor.

She had a huge smile on her face, although I couldn't see if her eyes (her face was still hidden under the veil) reflected all that light that came from her smile.

Her dress was just so beautiful. The sunlight coming in from the huge entranceway highlighted her silhouette, which was wrapped in a dress that hugged all her curves in the right way. The lace white cleavage contrasted with her freckled skin and the bra frame pushed her petite breasts just so much it made them much fuller. Or beautifuller.

Being strapless, it allowed her shoulders to glow on the light and, together with the white band on her head, it made her look like an angel with wings and a halo that shone so much it could blind a pure mortal that was not allowed to love an angel.

The skirts flowed around her, the veil and the train extending for a a good couple of feet behind her. It made me wonder if she would be able to walk towards the altar and not fall. I wondered if I should be ready to leap up and catch her at any moment. Though, knowing Anna, she would just probably stand up and laugh at her own clumsiness.

I knew that it wouldn't come to that, because the next person that came in had a look of determination that left no space for doubt. I knew they would make sure nothing went wrong with the wedding. Hand clenched, face frowned in concentration, head held high and eyes focused on the altar but without seeing me.

And then Anna took Elsa's arm and they started walking towards me.


	2. Chapter 2

So, here is where it starts to get a little bit more interesting. Next chapter up on Thursday. And, as always, reviews and criticisms are welcome. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2

Oh my god. I'm a married woman. How did THAT happen? To me? Lonely little Anna, always playing alone, pestering people to play with her because her sister had locked herself away inside her room. Lonely little clumsy Anna. Married.

I had to keep looking at my finger and seeing the ring in order to believe it. It wasn't a really big, heavy ring. It was very simple with a band of white gold and a small stone at the top. When it reflected the light, it produced rainbows wherever it was aimed. Kristoff had made it himself, out of ice and had asked Elsa to make it last forever.

Although she never told me it was her doing, Kristoff just couldn't stop talking about the never-melting ice. How amazing her powers really were and that she could do this. I'm still impressed they haven't become best friends or something closer than mere acquaintances and, now, brother and sister-in-law. Family.

But Elsa had always been cold and distant with Kristoff. I wonder why... I mean, right after the Great Thaw they were so nice to each other. Making sculptures out of ice and experimenting with her powers. But then Kristoff and I started dating and Elsa eluded both me and him.

I confronted her, of course. I had just gotten my sister back after 13 years. I didn't want her to shut me out yet again. So I pushed and kept on asking until she told me she was just giving me my space. That I should enjoy being with Kristoff. Dating required me to actually pay attention and spend time with him. Pff... What does _she_ know about dating?

I still say it was a lie. I could still see the hurt she carried in her eyes every time she looked at me. Or at Kristoff and I. Was she afraid she would lose me to him? That I wouldn't want to spend time with her anymore, now that I had him?

Growing up, Elsa wasn't the only one that got confined to a life inside the castle walls. With all the effort my parents put in isolating her from everything and everyone, I got isolated as well. Collateral damage. Thinking about it, I was no more different than Rapunzel, always watching the world from a window. And even when I decided to venture into town, I was still treated different, like royalty. I always won, people gave me things, called me "Your Highness"...

I had no one to really interact to, so what was left for me to do was watch. I watched everything and everyone. I didn't have the patience or the stillness to read books or play chess, but I learnt how to see the paintings from having talked too much to them. I learnt how to watch people and read them.

It should be no different with Elsa, right? I should be able to know what she's thinking. And, yet, I can't. All because of that stupid "conceal, don't feel, don't let it show". But, no, I don't blame my parents. Or Elsa for mistaking our father's teachings. I actually blame myself.

Of course I do. What else could I do? I was the one that insisted we play that day. I was the one that constantly asked her to "do the magic". I was the one that had to do everything without thinking. I have always been like that. Impulsive. And if she hadn't hit ME, she wouldn't be afraid. If I just hadn't insisted...

Before the Great Thaw, I had always believed I had done something terrible to her. So terrible that she didn't even want to see me anymore. That my parents had to keep ME away from HER and not the other way around. After everything we went through and she told me what had happened, I actually took it as confirmation. I told her she wasn't a monster, that she couldn't ever be. That she was my dear sister and that I loved her oh so very much no matter what. But I only thought in my head that _I_ was to blame.

So I vowed to make it up to her. And everything was really fine. Until Kristoff and I started dating...

I sighed. I don't understand. If she was afraid he'd take me from her, why had she, surreptitiously, pushed us towards marriage? Oh, the little sneak thinks I hadn't noticed all the hints and coy plot. She had actually been really smart, that sister of mine. She'd exploited our weakness, making us believe we were past the point of marrying. But were we really? Couldn't we have waited a few years? I am only 20. What if I made a mistake? I was more careful with Kristoff than I was with Hans, but was he really the one?

But what was I thinking about? God. It was my own wedding and I felt like I'd been forced to get married. But, no! I hadn't. I love Kristoff. That was what we had been headed towards all along. Marriage. Then kids.

Oh my God. Was that why Elsa pushed us? Kids? God! It was clear that she never intended to marry and have children. I reckoned she was terrified she'd pass along her powers. Damn woman still thought of them as a curse, instead of a blessing. On the other hand, Arendelle needed an heir. Someone to take the throne. Was that why she wanted me married already?

Oh, Elsa, why won't you talk to me?

"Anna?" I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and turned around.

"Hi, Kristoff." I gave him a little, albeit sad, smile.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes, it is. Why shouldn't it be? It's our wedding."

He stared hard at my face and frowned. His hand still on my shoulder. "You don't look very happy though..."

"Well, cause I'm not..." I saw his face drop and I looked at the ground, molding my features so it would sport a huge smile, even though he wouldn't see it reflected in my eyes "... I'm ecstatic!"

He looked up and I saw that my huge smile had fooled him, making him look very pleased. For all his caring nature, Kristoff was still a typical man. He never looked too closely anyway. "Oh, well, good, so I am." He looked around. "Do you wanna dance? We haven't danced since our first dance and then Elsa took you away from me."

It was actually a very simple and short ceremony. The wedding. I had asked the priest to make it short. No one could actually understand a word he would be saying and everyone wanted to enjoy the party and eat. So why waste so much time on Nordic yadda yadda?

We exchanged the rings Olaf very proudly carried on a small cushion and exchanged vows. They weren't really that great, but neither Kristoff nor I were known for being very good with words. Mine actually consisted on me tripping my way through the words because I decided to improvise. It wasn't really a choice. I just couldn't think of anything to say and I had been thinking since he'd proposed. So I just had to wing it. People smiled and laughed, so I think it was ok in the end.

I was really disappointed with Kristoff's though. It was painfully clear to me that he had asked Elsa for help. But my surprise surpassed my disappointment. How did he get her to help him? And why would he do that? I wondered if it was painful to help him and I really disliked that he had bothered her like that. Anyway, I could feel that him reading the vows she wrote lacked her finesse, elegance and eloquence.

But it was beautiful anyway, I suppose.

After that, there was the ball. Our first dance and Kristoff managed not to step on my toes, not even once. I went from hating him a little to being really proud. The look of concentration on his face showed me that he had practiced as much as he could. That he had worked hard to please me, to fill in a part that he wasn't really built or raised for. It swelled my heart and made me smile genuinely. He was very good to me and I loved him for it.

The dance with Elsa was kind of... Uncomfortable. I don't know when she decided that, as the monarch, she should step in our father's shoes but she worked really hard to really fill them. Even went to the point of wearing a suit and learning how to lead in a dance.

Nevertheless, she had been so stiff that I had actually preferred to keep dancing with clumsy and graceless Kristoff. She had barely even looked at my face and her hands were freezing cold, even through the gloves. I couldn't be more relieved when the dance was over. Things couldn't stay like that forever, I knew. I would have to talk to her. Really talk to her, I mean. We were sisters and that was a bond that would last forever no matter what.

"Anna?" Kristoff was waving a hand at my face. "You are not listening to me. Should I call Olaf to throw a snowball at you?"

"What?" I frowned.

He laughed. "He threw a snowball at me earlier because I wasn't paying attention to him. That's why I'm wearing the second jacket you had made."

Aha. I knew I was right in asking for two jackets and dresses. In your face, Kristoff! I was feeling so smug that I decided that I really shouldn't tell him that I had ripped my first dress because I tripped on the train. Let him think he was the only one that had to use the spare.

"No, no. No need to call Olaf. Or even joke about it. I just know he wouldn't catch on the jest and actually throw a snowball at me!" We laughed.

"So, should we dance some more? Relax and let out all the steam from the wedding preparations?" He offered his arm and the smile on my face held in place. Genuine smile.

"Sure." But as he led me to the dance floor, I couldn't help but to look around, wondering where my sister was. And then he swept me off my feet and she was all but forgotten.


	3. Chapter 3

Thursday means... Update! And this is my favourite chapter so far (I'm still writing the sixth and that one is supposed to be awesome as well). Being my favourite character means lots of angst. So, enjoy! Reviews as always are welcome.

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Chapter 3

She's happy. I wonder how many times must I say it before I actually absorb it. She. Is. Happy. Happily married. To Kristoff.

I buried my face in my hands in order to contain the scream of pure desperation that was trying to escape my throat. But I was not only desperate. I was angry. And I'd never felt this angry before. This anger that threatened to destroy everything and maniacally laugh above the rubble.

I hadn't felt this way when I would reach my limit of being locked inside my room because of the stupid powers. Nor when father wouldn't allow me to get a sneak peak of her. Nor when I had to sneak around so I could see her turning around the corner, trying to ride a bicycle standing on the seat (just to fail miserably and knock all the armors down).

Not even when my ice castle got invaded by Prince Hans and those _Weaseltown _henchmen, when all I wanted was to stay away to keep everyone safe. Would it have cost them to just leave me be? No one ever cared that I spent 13 years locked up inside my room. A child locked up away from her own sister, convinced that she was a monster. But that child becomes Queen and everyone wants a piece of her.

I needed to let it go. I needed to... Putting my hands over the balcony, I could see the stone freezing fast and furiously. Even the color looked different. Yellowish. Somehow I couldn't stop myself and relate that to something I had read many years past. Being alone for so long made books my only companion. And since I couldn't ever get out, the only way I could see the world was through the eyes and words of another.

I used to read about how frogs and some other animals actually used colors to indicate how dangerous they were. The colors red and black. And yellow. I didn't like those kinds of animals, mostly because I didn't like myself. And I actually related to them, with my ice coloring itself to suit my moods. The danger I could represent when I couldn't conceal.

Seeing my face reflected on the yellow ice, I couldn't see the face of a gracious, peaceful and gentle queen. The scowl on my face went deep, focusing on the hurt and anger inside my soul. She is married. There was nothing I could do now.

I actually snorted at that. What a delusional fool I am. Nothing would change if she weren't married. She wasn't mine to keep. And I might not be the queen Arendelle think I am, but I'm still a responsible one. Arendelle need their royal family.

Turning away from the ice, I looked at the sky. I couldn't bear to see my monstrosity fully exposed, as the yellow got darker and darker. I'd learned that as long as I didn't fully see it, or acknowledged it, I could pretend it isn't there. I could breath without a weight on my chest, without the thoughts that often yelled at me that I should have stayed on the North Mountain. Alone. Where not even animals would go. Contained.

She sure picked a nice day for a wedding. Sunny and warm, but not unbearably hot and stuffy. Spring had already contaminated everything and flowers could be seen growing everywhere. And where there were flowers, there was Sven and Olaf.

But the best part was the sky. During the day, it was of a blue I had never seen, like it was only for her wedding. A blue tinged with hope, happiness and innocence. A few fluffy clouds were scattered around, but they were only more of her. Olaf couldn't stop pointing at one of them because apparently it looked just like him. Or that one, that looked just like Sven. They were like sculptures made of cotton candy and if she had asked for them, they wouldn't be more like her.

My beautiful little sister. Married. I gasped feeling my heart constrict, like a hand was clutching it and squeezing the life out of it. The air escaped my lungs and I fell to my knees, tears also falling to the ground, hitting it frozen.

I couldn't stay there any longer. Out in the open, near the party. I had to get away. Go somewhere I could be alone, where if I couldn't contain the pain any longer, it wouldn't hurt anyone.

Hurrying to my feet, I didn't even bother to look around. I just started running down the stairs that led from the balcony to the gardens. I had planned to get around the castle and use a long forgotten entrance. An entrance I had used when father would let me out for a stroll (until the day I accidentally froze the entire garden) or when I would sneak out to catch a glimpse of life.

I knew it would lead me straight to a hidden door behind a panel in my study. But I couldn't stay there. If anyone noticed I was missing from the party, that was the first place they would look for me.

Opening up the door and getting out, I ran for a couple of feet and stopped. My boots were making way too much noise. So much that if I kept going like that, the guards would soon come up to check. Bending down to take them off, I started to unlace them, my fingers freezing the laces and making the job much harder. And the more I struggled, the more annoyed and frustrated I got, making the freezing worse, until I finally managed to get them off. I left them beside the door, not wanting anything in my hands, lest I freeze them into popsicles.

But I only took one step and slipped on the slippery floor, closing my eyes and bracing myself for the pain. Gods! Now I knew why Anna likes so much to walk around without shoes. When my backside hit hard the floor, I could feel the tears springing from behind my closed eyes and the floor starting to freeze, the ice quickly reaching the walls.

Controlling the tears, I opened my eyes and looked around. There, to my right, I saw a door. Quickly scrambling to my feet, with a grace (or lack of it) that was Anna's trademark, I rushed towards it. I had hardly touched the doorknob when it started to freeze. Everything was spinning out of control too fast.

I had no other way as I opened the door and quickly hurried down the narrow corridor ahead of me. I didn't think. I couldn't think of anything else besides putting one foot in front of the other; besides getting away from everything; from the party; from Kristoff; from Anna.

Soon I felt my lungs burn and I welcomed the physical pain, diminishing the lingering pain in my heart. Yet, I didn't slower the pace. Only when I could see my breath in front of my face I did and walked the last couple of feet until I reached a wooden door, decorated with beautiful carved figures. Looking closely, I could see they were of men defeating bodiless creatures, conquering ice and placing the first stone for what would, later, become their palace on a beautiful bay.

I stared in confusion at the door, as a distant memory tickled my mind. I had seen that door before. In a very distant past. The memory was blurry but it was still fighting to make itself present and acknowledged.

-/-

_ A little gloved hand, in a bigger one. Hushed voices. Steps far too quick and large for little legs. A stern voice raised itself above the whispers, commanding, ordering. Impatient._

_ "Come on, Elsa."_

_ "But, father, couldn't I just, for one second...?"_

_ Garoar suddenly stopped, a hard look on his face, and looked at his older daughter. Idun knew that look, although she had seen it only a few times on her husband's face. She took her daughter's other little hand and held it tight._

_ "Elsa, can't you see the damage you have already done?"_

_ "It was an accident, father!" Little Elsa took her hand out of her father's and, still holding her mother's, tried to hide herself in the latter's skirts._

_ Idun looked at her husband, with pleading eyes. "Garoar, please."_

_ "No, Idun. She needs to learn to control it! What if Anna had come out and seen the completely frozen garden? What if Anna had been there and gotten frozen?" He sighed, his thin mustache disarranged after his outburst. Running his hand through his short copper hair, he conceded to his wife's pleading look._

_ "Go inside. Talk to her, then. I'll go check on Anna." He turned towards his daughter, the hard look on his face completely gone. Kneeling in front of her, he brushed her wet bangs away from her face and wiped the little tears that were frozen, stuck to her face._

_ "Elsa, snowflake, you can't let the fear get to you. You have to be strong. I know you can be strong." He squeezed her shoulders. "You have to remember. Conceal IT. Don't feel IT."_

_ He kissed the top of her head, stood up and exchanged a look with his wife, before turning away and walking down the hall, back from where they came. Idun hugged her daughter as she watched him walk away. As much as she knew everything was hard on him, on them, she knew it was even harder on Elsa._

_ She knew the little girl only got more upset every time an incident happened. She knew, even though she tried her best to avoid it, that Elsa felt each time more like a disappointment. That she blamed herself for everything bad that happened to Anna. From hitting her on the head to all the nights spent crying at her older sister's door. Gods know how many times Idun had to drag a crying, bawling and kicking Anna away from Elsa's door. Or how many times she had to stay there with her for the little copper-haired girl wouldn't budge._

_ And all Idun could only do was wish that she could show Elsa that she loved her so much, that no matter what happened, she loved her little snowflake so much it hurt her to she her wasting away her childhood locked inside a room. But if Anna was stubborn, it was because she was just like Garoar and there was no convincing him that perhaps there could be another solution. "What solution?" he would ask her and she would remain silent. If the trolls didn't know it, how could she?_

_ Elsa looked up at her, eyes filled with a sadness that wasn't befitting a 10 years old and broke her heart into even tinier pieces. "Mommy?"_

_ "Yes, my darling?"_

_ "Anna will be ok, won't she?"_

_ She ran her hand through that blonde, whitish hair. "Yes, dear, she will. You could never hurt her, Elsa. You know that right?"_

_ Idun could see freshly formed tears on the little girls eyes before she buried her face, yet again, in her mother's skirts._

_ "I'm afraid, mommy."_

_ She actually had to fight the tears that threatened to fall. She had to be strong for Elsa._

_ "You have nothing to be afraid of, my dear." She disentangled herself from the little girl and took her little hand. "We will always be here to help you, Elsa. As long as you need. Now, come." And she pushed her through a wooden door, carved with the history of Arendelle. _

-/-

As the memories came unbidden, I expected to cry. Yet, no tears came. "Where are you now, mother? Now that I need you?" I whispered to the door, as if she could hear me, and leaned my head on it.

Closing my eyes for a few moments, I sighed, before I took hold of the doorknob, turned it and entered a room I hadn't had the courage to enter in many, may years. My parent's room.


	4. Chapter 4

Olaf's chapters are going to be written in a third person's POV. I don't think he would actually have a linear line of thought and I reckoned that would be very annoying to write and read. So his own thoughts are in italic.

This is a smaller chapter as well. It's more introductory than anything. And a little bit of fun to compensate all the angst.

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Chapter 4

_Oh, look at that gorgeous flower! And that one! And that other one! Oh, how many flowers are there? I can't wait to smell all of them!_

Olaf couldn't hold in the giggles that erupted from his mouth. He couldn't keep still. Sven hadn't been allowed to be inside at the party and that had made Olaf considerably sad, but when Anna mentioned flowers, he had all but forgotten about the reindeer.

"Excuse me, madam, excuse me!"

A large lady looked down in disbelieve. "Gods! What are you?"

"Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!" Olaf opened his arms and flexed his little wooden fingers as to indicate to the woman that she had to hug him. But the woman just stood there, looking at him, her face still stuck on disbelieve. Olaf flexed his fingers again.

"Well...?" _Why isn't she hugging me? Does she even know how to hug?_

But the only think that happened was the woman's mouth falling wide open and a stare match that lasted for a few moments too long.

"You have to hug him now, you know." Came a voice from behind her. "There's no escape. He'll just keep looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to envelop his mushy wet little body in your arms."

The woman turned around to face a young man, with copper hair and a freckled olive skin. He was lean and fit, dressed in a pompous green jacket that certainly meant royalty. His green eyes sparkled with amusement at the woman's still hanging open mouth.

"Hey! I'm not mushy! I'm fluffy!" Olaf crossed his arms indignantly in front of him. "You won't get anymore hugs, then!"

The woman appeared to have finally found her wits. "You hugged this strange creature?"

The man laughed. "Indeed I have. He wouldn't let go of my leg!" He kicked his leg, trying to demonstrate the struggle he had to go through "And, my lady, pardon my question, but weren't you at the ceremony? He was the ring bearer."

Olaf smiled proudly. _I sure was. And Anna told me I did a superb job, carrying the rings. The Rapun whatever girl had her all scared because that horse what-his-name-that-wants-to-be-Sven's-new-best-friend-but-I-won't-let-him and Pascal made a huge mess with hers. Oh, that must have been funny to watch! Hehehehe_

The woman blushed deeply and stammered over her next few words. "I wasn't, really. Because, you know, the wedding... and the small chapel... I can't possibly stand wedding ceremonies! I ball my eyes out and it's so embarrassing, I just couldn't make a scene at Princess Anna's wedding! ..." She meant to continue, but the young man held his hand up.

"Not to worry, my lady. I understand."

"But I don't!" Olaf's head had actually switched quite comically between the both of them, like he was at a tennis match. In the end he just held his head on his hands and shook it.

The woman's eye grew large and she managed to blush an even deeper red. The man smirked and held his hand over his mouth, like directing the sound only towards the woman and fake whispered. "My lady, you should hug him now, lest you want him to bugger you to explain."

Olaf had never seen a large lady move so fast. He suddenly felt two big, strong arms surrounding him and as he was just about to thrust his arms half way around her, the hug was over and the woman was already long gone, heading over to the food's table.

"Ok, that woman really has to learn how to hug." He pfffed.

"She was just scared you would snitch her as a party-crasher. I don't think she was invited, little fellow." The man had walked to Olaf and placed his elbow over the snowman's head as both of them watched the woman take a large sample of everything on the table.

Olaf shrugged to set his head free of the annoying elbow. "Who are you? I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!" He opened his little arms yet again. The man laughed and patted him on the head.

"I know. You have already hugged me. And I am Annæus, prince of Egilsay." He bowed.

"I don't know what a Egilsay is."

Straightening up, the prince looked amused. "Well, it's an island, not far from here."

"What's an island?"

That caught the prince of guard. "What's an island? Well, it's mmmm... a portion of land, that is surrounded by water at all sides."

"The castle is surrounded by water at all sides. Is the castle an island?"

"What? The castle? What do you even mean? Wait, no. The castle isn't an island."

"Then what's the difference between an island and a castle?"

Annæaus looked positively off put. _This prince is so confusing. Are all princes supposed to be confusing? Will Kristoff be even more confusing now?_

"Well, I guess an island is a large portion of land, you know... land. Whilst a castle is something someone built. It can be built surrounded by land as well."

"But this castle is surrounded by water. Why isn't it an island, then?"

"Because an island is land." The prince frowned while he was trying to think of a way to finish this inquiry about castle and islands.

"Ok... I still don't get it." His eyes caught a little glimpse of blue on Annæus' jacket "Can I smell the flower on your coat?" Olaf didn't even bother waiting for a reply and just stuck his nose on the man's lapel. He had put a small blueish flower on it and, surprisingly, it didn't make Olaf sneeze. It actually reminded him of... "Elsa! It smells like Elsa."

Olaf pulled away and the prince grinned. "Well, I really picked this flower thinking of -"

"Why do you look like Anna and smell like Elsa?" He made a face "I don't like you. You are strange and confusing!" Olaf turned around and started paddling away, changing his course when he spotted a lithe figure outside on the balcony. _Who's that person outside? Is it... Elsa? I should go say hi and hug her! Elsa always needs warm hugs._

He had taken three steps before he felt someone grab his arm and turn him around. He let out a little yelp. "I'm sorry, little buddy, I didn't mean to freak you out before... And now."

"Who are you again?"

"Annæus." _Wow, his name even sounds like Anna's. Creepy._

"What is the name of the flower on your jacket?" The prince was holding Olaf so close to him, that the snowman could smell its faint scent. Letting him go, the man took the flower out of his lapel and handed it to Olaf. "It's a blue hydrangea."

The small snowman held it up to his carrot nose and took a good sniff. It really did smell like Elsa. But somehow... wrong. Like it was her, but a wrong version of her. A version that made all the wrong choices.

"I've been told her eyes are just as blue."

"Yeeeeeaaahhh." Taking on last distrustful look at the flower, Olaf handed it back to the prince. It didn't make him sneeze and it was _really _pretty, but it gave him a weird feeling. Like it wasn't right, somehow.

"Look, prince anus..."

"Annæaus."

"Annals."

"Annæus."

"Anal."

"Annæus."

"Annual."

"Look, you can just call me Ne, ok?" The prince sighed. This snowman was sure starting to get on his nerves. It was worse than dealing with a very obnoxious child.

"Okay! So, Ne" Olaf giggled "I'm just gonna go, ok? I saw someone I wanted to talk to, So..." He started to walk away towards the balcony. "Bye!" He waved and paddled away as fast as he could, hoping the strange man wouldn't follow him again. That conversation just left him very confused. _I really hope I don't have to go through that again!_

But when he got close to the glass door, all he could see was a dark figure going down a set of stairs, running and disappearing into the night. He even thought to shout over to the figure, but the ice all over the balcony grabbed his attention.

"Elsa?"


	5. Chapter 5

As always, reviews and criticism are welcome. Enjoy! =)

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Chapter 5

I never had so much fun in my life. My feet hurt from all the dancing and Kristoff managed to make me forget that our wedding guests surrounded us. It was like we were in our personal bubble, laughing, doubling over with more laughter, stuffing our faces with food and chocolate...

During our second dance, I had actually gotten quite annoyed with my dress, so I bent over, took hold of the hem and tied it up around my knees. I could see Gerda in a corner looking at me disapprovingly, but I didn't care. It was _my_ wedding. I was the _princess_. I could do whatever I wanted. Besides, I thought it would be even worse if I tripped over my dress and fell face first on the floor.

At some point, a thought invaded my head and I just couldn't shake it off. The only other time I had so much fun at a party was at Elsa's coronation, with Hans. I was sure I looked very troubled when I realized that and I just couldn't school my features to hide the very unpleasant thought.

Kristoff had seen the pained look on my face, but I guess that wasn't that hard to grasp. I was really just saying that I had never had so much fun in my life... I mean, we didn't have a lot of parties in Arendelle. Elsa now had an open gate policy, but it didn't mean she was extra outgoing or sociable. She still hid from time to time, refused to come out of her study and had anxiety attacks before meeting the people. She was a great monarch and, by the Gods, no one could ever rule and boss around like that woman, but sometimes she just rested her head on a window and I knew she was breathing hard and counting to ten in order to send away the demons that still haunted her.

Nevertheless, Kristoff caught on and started to try to ease my mind. He had been doing it all night long really.

"Hey, wife of mine, don't you wanna grab me a glass of punch?" He smirked at me and I had to laugh.

"What did you just call me?"

"Well, we're married now. You _are_ my wife."

I burrowed my eyebrows and looked at him in mocking disbelieve. "But 'wife of mine' sounds so primitive and possessive."

He squared his shoulders and put on what I supposed was to be a "macho face". I had to try really hard to suppress the laughter. It looked completely ridiculous.

"Me Kristoff. You Anna. Me take you wife. Me man you woman. Me make you woman."

Wait, what? Did he really just say that? He looked as shocked as I did by what he said. "Wait, uhm, I mean, no. I didn't really meant it that way... I mean, we will, uhm, we must, but uhm not if you don't want, of course... I don't know. I mean...-" I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek, much like I had done all those years ago, leading to our first kiss right after I'd given him his, at the time, new sled.

"Don't fret, Kristoff. It isn't' becoming for a husband of mine."

He was still very red; embarrassed about his slip up, but now he also looked confused. "'For a husband of mine'? Does that mean you had other husbands? I'm confused..."

I just couldn't suppress the giggle, but at least it came out so softly that he didn't hear it. "Oh, you know, I married a guy."

He eyebrows shot up to his hairline and his eyes looked as big as saucers. "You did?"

"Yeah..." I put a dreamy look on my face. "He was absolutely gorgeous."

"Wait, what?"

"A mysterious stranger, tall and fair. Strong... Blonde... With the most caring and warm brown eyes..."

I could actually see and hear the cogs turning inside his head. I wouldn't even have been surprised if I saw smoke coming out of his ears next. I just didn't know if it would have been because he was trying to think too much or because he was jealous and angry.

He looked at me with narrowed eyes. "Who is the man? And did you...?" He made some gestures with his hands. I understood what he meant, but it was so much fun teasing him.

"Did we what?"

He blushed. Oh Gods, he was worse than a maiden. "You knoooooow..." He gestured again.

"No, I dooooooon't know."

I could now see the smoke coming out of his ears. "Oh, you meant to ask if we had sex?"

He looked everywhere but at me and I took pity on him. "Well, not yet."

"What? What do you mean with 'not yet'?"

I rolled my eyes. He was so obtuse sometimes. "I just got married to this man. We haven't had a chance to consummate it yet."

He blinked and we stared at each other. After a few moments of staring, I thought that winking might give him some sort of clue, so I winked. And he blinked. Twice. Until I finally saw understanding wash over him.

"Ooooooh, you meant me!" And he laughed. And I laughed. And we laughed and laughed until my stomach hurt. He was so silly and stupid and slow sometimes. But he was my silly, slow, stupid husband. My husband. Mine. And every time my head went down that path of thought, I could feel my heart swell. I had definitely made the right choice. I loved him with everything that I had. The alcohol clearly agreed with me on that one.

We were doubling over with laughter when we heard someone behind us cough.

"Excuse me, Your Highness." I turned around and saw Gerda, trying to smile at us being so happy and carefree (a typical case of newlyweds), but not quite achieving that goal as something was clearly bothering her.

"Yes, Gerda?"

"It's time for the toast."

"Oh, finally, I'm starving. Tell me again why you decided to put the eating and toasting so far into the reception, wife."

"Well, husband, I thought that once we started dancing, we wouldn't want to stop. And, guess what? I was...? Say it."

"Say what?"

"That I was...?"

"Was what?"

I buffed and tickled him on that sweet spot of his, right at the base of his neck, where I knew he was most ticklish.

"Anna... No... That's not... Fair! Stop... Stop it. Com- Come on! Just- just stop!"

"Say it."

He laughed and roared and doubled over trying to push my hand away, but I persisted. Soon he was almost kneeling on the floor and we were making quite a scene.

"Come on, Kristoff, just say it."

"Ok, you were right!" I smiled triumphantly and stopped tickling him. He stood up. "But I'm still hungry." He scoffed and crossed his arms.

Gerda coughed once again and we turned around to face her. "We can't find your sister, Your Highness. She is supposed to make the speech."

"What do you mean you can't find Elsa?"

She looked at me with a scolding look. Although I was royalty and Gerda was supposed to be my servant, she was too much like a mother to me. Especially since my real mother died and she was the only one there for me.

I sighed. Why did I ever decide to choose Elsa to be my maid of honor? Why couldn't I have chosen Rapunzel? She would be more than happy to do it and it would have been much easier. Elsa would leave the meetings halfway through them and wouldn't come back. And when she did that, she didn't even bother to give me an explanation. It was the same when she didn't bother to even show at the meetings. Sure, they were very boring meetings. I mean, who cares about the four types of lemon cake? But she was my maid of honor. And my sister. She was supposed to suffer through them with me!

Although... It's not like I had much choice. If I hadn't picked Elsa, she would be so hurt about it. It was expected of me to choose her. And everything might have been even worse than now. She could have thought I really thought she was a monster and didn't really love her (my love thawed her ice, but I could see she still struggled to accept it) and lock herself away inside her bedroom.

Or worse: in her ice castle on the North Mountain.

Then _I _would be queen and _I_ would have a lot of boring meetings to attend with advisors and lawyers and kings and business partners and Weaseltown...

"Anna?" Kristoff was waving yet again in front of my face. I slapped his hand away. "Stop waving you hand at my face. It's annoying."

He let his hand fall by his side and I could see that he was a bit hurt by my snapping, but decided it wasn't the best time to argue with the bride. He must have thought I was thinking Elsa was ruining _my perfect moment_, my perfect day, my wedding.

Well, I was furious. How could she just disappear like that? But it wasn't the fact that she was ruining my wedding that was bothering me. What was really bothering me was the reason why she had disappeared. And the fact that I didn't know what it was.

"I'll go look for her."

"Your Highness, you can't leave you own party."

"Sure I can, Gerda. You can even watch me do it." I turned to Kristoff. "Husband, go mingle and entertain the guests."

He looked terrified of the prospect of having to interact with royalty. People that still looked down at him and would never accept him, despite the fact that he had married a princess and was, now, a prince himself.

"Just go, Kristoff. Be a man. They don't bite. At least not while you're the host."

He gulped but nodded.

"You" I turned to Gerda. "Find something to help him. Like, a joker... Or ask the band to play more songs. A few that require people to use the dance floor. It they are occupied dancing, they won't notice I disappeared for a little bit."

"Yes, Your Highness."

The three of us stood awkwardly looking at each other. "Well, go on people. Off to your tasks!" And I swiftly turned around, with a grace more like Elsa's than mine. Even with my dress ridiculously tied up around my legs. Stealthily I walked to the door and was almost out of the ballroom when I knocked into a tall man, with copper hair and green eyes and vest.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness. Are you ok?"

I waved him off. "Yes, yes. Excuse me, please. I need to use the bathroom. Too much to drink, you see?"

I didn't even wait for his answer before I stalked out of the room, quickening my pace when I reached the huge staircase I used to slide on the handrail. Stepping on the first step, I paused and sighed, thinking about the places Elsa could have gone to hide. I had very little time and more places to look than I would rather.

_Well, better start right away, then. But, by Gods, Elsa, when all of this wedding shenanigan's is over, you will wish you had locked yourself away inside you room again._


	6. Chapter 6

So, Monday means update! I'm posting this one a little later today because I was going it a very special revision. This chapter is where everything starts to change for real. When I was writing it, I wanted it to go in a direction, but it wanted to go somewhere else. So I threw away the outline I had for the story and decided it was much more interesting this way. I could say this is my "Let it go moment", though, when we get further down on the story, you'll realise how ironic this is.

Anyway, thanks for the reviews! And for those that commented on the size of the chapters, there's actually a explanation for that. I'm originally a writer for short one-shots. So, when I started writing longer original stories, I always planned small parts that would be put together in a very big chapter (and that way I can update in short regular intervals as well). Therefore, all these chapters I posted are all part of a bigger one, called "Chapter 1 - The wedding". I'm a bit ahead of you guys, but I'm still not finished with it. So you can see that if I posted it as a whole, it'd be very big and take a long time to update. Besides, the POVs make an excellent cutting point.

That all being said (I write small chapters, but big A/N hahaha), I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. And, as always, reviews and criticism are always welcome =)

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Chapter 6

My parent's room was dark and dusty. It smelled of bold and old. It was the biggest room in the castle and actually had a few adjoining rooms. A big bed stood with its headboard glued to the wall. On either side of it, there were huge windows that once let bright sunshine in, illuminating a happy couple watching their daughters play together. I could still see the ghosts. And also the thick layers of dust covering the furniture, the armchairs and the carpet.

To the left, there was a door that led to a separate bedroom. My mother's room. I guess I never found strange that she'd have her own room, for it had been that way since I could remember. But, growing up and reading all those stories, I started to wonder the purpose of that room. Until I couldn't take it any more and asked Gerda. She was positively off put by my question and did her best to dismiss it. I didn't insist on it anymore, but I started to listen more closely to the servants' gossip. It started because I wanted to know what Anna was up to, but other things soon got my attention as well. It seemed that my mother had never made much use of that room, but had been doing since the "frozen garden incident". That's when I gave up on listening in. It only made me feel worse knowing I had caused some sort of riff in my parents' otherwise peaceful marriage.

Next to the door that led to my mother's bedroom was another door, leading to their shared bathroom. I had mixed feelings about it. I remembered Anna and I having bath together as kids. Having fun, playing with bath toys. We would splash water everywhere and mother and father would laugh, much to Gerda's annoyance (even though I knew she was laughing internally). But I also remember freezing the water by accident and actually getting stuck in a bathtub of ice. It took a very long time for father to allow me to have a bath again. He was really terrified I would freeze myself again and there wouldn't be anyone to help me. Even after "The Great Thaw" it took me a while to dispense of the gloves with bathing.

To the right, a third door leading to a more private study. It was there father tried to teach me how to control my powers. But he also taught me a lot of things, like chess, politics, diplomacy… I spent more time in there than in my own room. I had everything there, books, chess, art supplies. I felt safe, secluded, away from everyone. I was hid inside my parent's room. No one would dare go there, only my parents.

I reckon that most of the times Anna knocked on my bedroom door I wouldn't be there to answer her anyway. But I was always there during the night. Her cries and screams still haunted me. My worst nightmare was always of a little Anna knocking on my door, asking me to let her in because otherwise she'd freeze; and I couldn't get the door to open, with the trolls and my parents' voices telling me I couldn't see her, lest I'd hurt her; and when I could finally get the door open, she'd be frozen and there was nothing I could do. She was beyond saving. Even for true love for my love was tainted with this… disgusting feelings.

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I wondered if that was how people felt cold. It never really bothered me, but I guess it wouldn't make sense if it did. What bothered me were the clothes I had to put on because it would be rather strange for a little girl to be wearing just a flimsy dress in the middle of winter. It was really stuffy under them and they just reminded me what a freak I was. Am.

But my parent's room... It gave me the chills and I started to shiver, my teeth clattering uncontrollably. Hugging myself, I tried to move over to the draperies in order to open them to let the outside life take over this morbid chamber. But I found my feet were stuck to the ground.

I couldn't move, the shivering was getting worse and I could feel a wave hitting me square on my chest. There was nothing I could do as my knees also decided to work against me and I fell (for the second time that night) to the ground.

What was happening to me? I came here to... I don't know why I came here. I only knew I had to get away from the party. I had to have time for myself. To breath. To allow those feelings... That lo- No. I couldn't name it. Naming it would make it real. But real or not, it was stronger than me, asking - nay, demanding to get out, to take over. It was a beast that hungered for only one thing: my heart.

_It was a beast all right. But what could be expected from a feeling that comes from a monster? Monsters were only capable of bestialities._

My ears perked up and I looked around, eyes wide. Where had that voice come from?

"Hello? Is anybody in here?"

I remained in silence, sitting on my backside, hands propping up my upper body behind me and legs bent at the knees, open. Thank the Gods I was wearing pants.

_Gods don't help sick monsters_.

Adrenalin shot through my body and I finally regained some of my motor functions. This was getting freakishly scary. I didn't know who had trespassed and invaded my parent's bedroom, but I was the Queen and I refused to be talked to like that.

In the dark, I went blindly to the first set of curtains I could find next to me and pushed them open. But, to my utter shock, it wasn't a window that was behind it, but a portrait of my parents. My father stood tall and proud. His cooper hair and mustache contrasting with the green of his eyes and the blue of his vest, embroidered with purple insignias and gold fringe. He was the embodiment of Arendelle's pride. No one could ever represent our strength, power, riches and, it must be admitted, arrogance like my father. He was gentle and kind to those that deserve it, but anyone crossed his path and he would destroy them mercilessly.

It wasn't a secret to me that my father a hard man. But when Anna and I talked about them after the Great Thaw, I could see she only saw one side of him: the one that used to stroke her hair, read her stories, take her riding and sailing... He wasn't King Garoar to her, that much was clear. He was simply... father.

He wasn't like that with me. He could be strict and inflexible. He would leave me no choice, but to hide away inside my room. I only noticed that after they died, when I had no one to go to. Anna had Gerda and I could hear her mourning our parents. But whom did I have to help my deal with the feelings of pain and loss? Feelings of confusion for I didn't have anyone else anymore to tell me what to do; to guide me; to teach me. I was completely lost in the dark and I was utterly alone.

Once, when I decided that I had to talk to someone, I went to Anna's bedroom and, through the crack in the door, I could see them on her bed, Anna with her head on Gerda's lap, holding a tissue and quietly talking about, I supposed, our parents. I turned around and went back to my room, crying; the walls freezing all around me. When I finally threw myself on my bed, my room was already covered in white. What right had I to pry and insert myself in that moment? None. I didn't even know my own sister anymore. We didn't have the same parents. The only thing that still linked us was that bloodline than made me Queen and her, princess.

I mourned their loss by myself. And it was a good thing I did. I had no control over my powers and I lived inside a permanent storm, both literally and emotionally, for a whole year. Through the window, I could see Anna starting to live again, alone, and it would make it all come back.

I didn't know what to do. I was lost and without guidance. My parents, the only people I had interacted for 13 years were gone. My mother, the only person I would allow to touch me after the frozen garden incident, was gone. And yet I saw her everyday I looked at the mirror. And I saw her now in the portrait.

My mother was the opposite from my father. Whereas my father was abrasive, my mother was gentle and quiet. She didn't need to raise her voice. She could talk and order around with only her eyes. And she had a power inside of her that my father would never have even with all the armies in the world.

But since the incident with Anna, her eyes lost a bit of life every year that passed. Anna told me she didn't interact much with mother and I told her it was because she was always with me. The "frozen garden incident" was a turning point for her, I suppose. She started to stay with me much longer and her presence always had a calming effect on me.

Even now, looking at her on the portrait, I could feel the wave subsiding. She had her brown hair up in a bum and was wearing a dark blueish purple dress with a white shirt underneath. The green broach an inch above her breasts.

Her face was slightly tilted to the left and a small smile adorned her beautiful face. I could see that this portrait was painted before everything. She still had that fierceness in her eyes, a fire that could undo even my most menacing storms.

I reached my hand forward to touch her, desperately needing her, her touch, hugs and comforting words. I just needed my mommy...

_She would be disgusted to have a daughter like you. A monster._

I pulled my hand back quickly, as if it had been burnt. Who was saying that?

_Does it matter? As long as it is the truth?_

No. It wasn't the truth. Anna had told me I wasn't a monster.

_Anna's a silly girl. She still hasn't seen you for what you really are. Let her find out what you hide deep inside yourself. The thoughts that run through your head when you see her. Or when you think of her._

All I could do was stand there, in front of my parent's portrait. Once again stuck to the floor. Whoever it was, it was right. I was a monster. But I was doing my best not to be. I was doing my best to be a good sister. To be a _sister_. And yet, I was failing. I didn't help at all with the wedding preparations for I couldn't bear to think of the wedding I had encouraged and almost forced upon Kristoff and Anna. It would have killed me to see Anna in a bride's dress. How I managed to walk her down the aisle I won't ever know, but it took all the strength I had not to freeze the whole chapel.

And, now, I was hiding in my parent's room. I was enduring reliving the pain of my parent's loss just so I didn't have to endure seeing my sister happy with Kristoff. But shouldn't it be enough that she was happy regardless with whom? Isn't what love is about?

I was a monster who didn't even know how to love properly.

_Now you have that right._

"STOP IT!" I didn't even realize my body was in motion. I just turned and shards of ice flew out of my outstretched hand, sinking on the opposite wall.

"Whoever you are, come out now!" I yelled to the empty room. The shivers were back once again, but I could feel myself sweating and my breathing quickening. I didn't know what was happening. If the room was haunted or if I had finally lost my mind.

The room remained quiet, not even the sounds of the party reaching this most reclusive chamber. But the silence was heavy and weighted too much on my shoulders. I turned back to the portrait ordering it to provide me answers, but my father looked stoically straight ahead to where my shards were stuck on the wall and my mother appeared to be looking in pity at me.

"Mother, what's happening to me?" Besides the shivering and the clattering of teeth, I could now feel the wave once more, but it came together with a heat that started way down my from toes and was slowly moving up.

My breathing and pulse were so quick and loud I was sure I wouldn't be able to hear anymore voices if they spoke. My head was spinning. My eyes filled with tears. My knees buckled and I fell on them, in front of the portrait. I looked up and asked my mother one last time. "Mommy... Help me. I'm afraid. What's happening to me?"

As the heat was approaching my hands, I let my head fall on my chest, silently sobbing and crying, letting my body be consumed by the heat I already identified as rage. There was no escape anymore...

My hands turned to solid iced and crystals started to form around it. The ice quickly spread over my arms, shoulders and chest. I could feel it reaching my heart and there was no turning back. I stood up and let it go.

I yelled and screaming and cursed like I never had before. Soon every inch of the bedroom was covered in five layers of snow and ice. I destroyed all the window treatments, either by pulling them down or by using my ice powers to freeze and, then, shatter them.

I knocked over books that have been on the huge desk for years and were covered with dust. Vases, bottles of perfume, mirrors and jewelry were broken, shattered and thrown at windows and walls. A few shards of glass, from the windows or from the mirror I do not know, made a deep cut on my skin but I couldn't be bother. I actually enjoyed the pain it caused. It renewed the fire that was burning inside of me and made me feel alive.

_The monster finally comes out_.

Yes! I am a monster. A sick and twisted monster. I should burn in hell. If I could. And that made me laugh. And I laughed maniacally while I destroyed everything that was within my reach, as I ripped the bedspreads and the pillowcases, making the feathers fly around and get mixed with the snow.

I continued to laugh while conjuring up a storm that put everything up in suspension, spinning around me, the center of the storm. And I continued to laugh as I turned to my parent's portrait.

"You were both liars! I spent my whole life thinking _I_ had failed _you_! But if I failed you, it was because _you_ failed _me_ first!" I started to walk closer to it. "Who in their right minds lock a little girl away in her room, uh? What a great idea that was! 'Let us isolate her, lest she turns into a monster', you must have thought." I raised my left hand and pointed my right finger at them. "Newsflash, darling parents: no matter what you did, no matter how much you tried, I. Am. Still. A. Monster!"

I took hold of the frame and used all my strength to take the portrait off the wall. No matter how much I tried, it just wouldn't budge, so I froze the frame and shattered it into small pieces, lettin the storm carry the canvas to the floor a few feet away from me.

Conjuring up a very sharp shard of ice, I tested it on my hand and was satisfied when a thin trickle of blood rand down to my arm. Smiling maniacally, I knelt on the floor next to the painting, raised the shard and swung, hitting my father's face first.

I swung and swung and swung and swung. So many times I lost count. But all the while I was yelling, asking what right did he think he had to lock me away from everyone and everything. What right did he think he had to take away my life. What right did he think he had to just... leave me?

I was furious and I was spent. I cried all the way through ripping his face apart. But when I raised the shard to start on my mother, I couldn't. My arm was raised, the tears stopped for a moment and I just looked at her.

But I didn't see her. I saw myself. I looked so much like her, it was terrifying. I actually covered all the mirrors in my room just after her death. I couldn't look at myself, afraid I would see her.

Nevertheless, in all truthfulness, we were nothing alike. She was what I could have been if it weren't for the powers that made me a monster. My eyes would be a darker blue. My hair, brown. My skin, not so pale. And I would have grown up to be just like her as Anna grew up to be like father. We would have been a happy family. Close. Normal.

But I had ruined everything. The monster inside of me couldn't have anything less than misery and destruction. No matter what I did to get it right, I would always get it wrong. My touch was the touch of death and there was no denying it.

I looked around me. The storm had ceased and all that was left in its wake were debris. My parent's room, untouched, impregnable and locked, was no more. I destroyed the only things we had of them. The only things Anna had of them. In my anger of myself and them, I didn't even consider that Anna might have felt connected to their things. We couldn't remember anymore the timbre of their voices, the softness of their touch (in my case, only mother's touch), but we still had this. Things that belonged to them; that they touched and that, surprisingly, still smelled like them.

I dropped the shard and buried my head in my hands, smudging my face with the blood that was covering my arms and hands. What had I done? I really _was_ a monster.

Lying down and curling up to a fetal position, I started to cry again, all the while rocking myself left and right, whispering over and over again. "I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster."

I was so lost in my world of despair that I didn't hear the loud knocks on the door, or it being burst open and a figure stepping through it with a torch. And I suppose that was a good thing that I didn't see or I would have hoped that Anna had left her own wedding ceremony to save me. A selfish monster. That was all I ever was.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry I'm posting this one kinda late. But I've been fighting with my internet provider the whole day. It hasn't been a nice week. But, this is a new chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. As always, reviews and criticism are much welcome.

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Chapter 7

Oh, Gods. Why would Anna do this to me? I couldn't handle a bunch of royal people looking at me like I was dirt on their shoes. How did she expect me to entertain them? I had to find Kai. He would surely have some idea of how to keep them occupied while Anna looked for Elsa.

Anyway, why would she run away like that? Elsa was a person that fulfilled her duties no matter what. It didn't matter if they would strain her or make her exhausted both physically and mentally. She'd do them. She was a queen and she knew the kingdom was more important than her. She was protector of Arendelle after all...

Anna couldn't agree less with this perspective. She thought Elsa had lived so much of her life in fear, worried that she might hurt someone, that she deserved some freedom. That she deserved to find out who she really was. But for all Anna thought I was the fool and she was the smart one, sometimes she could be really dense. I wondered if, because she spent so many years apart from her sister, she only saw the version of Elsa she wanted to see, rather than what Elsa really was.

I'd always lived by myself. It had always been Sven and I. But I still had to deal with people. I had an ice business and you only have a business if you interact with people. And I interacted with a bunch of shady ones, always trying to outsmart me. I had to learn to see people for what they really were. Some might be too good to be true. And they actually weren't truthful. People always thought they could take advantage of a little orphan boy.

So it didn't really take me long to realize that, as much as Anna wanted to believe her relationship with Elsa was back on track, it was far from it. They still hid things from one another. They didn't know how to be sisters anymore. They actually _weren't _sisters. Only by blood; but in their minds they were strangers, full of secrets. The doors now were always open, but they could still hide things in dark nooks.

And Elsa was definitely hiding something. I could see it in her eyes. I could feel it in the way she treated me. Respectful, but implying that I shouldn't dare cross that line. I could clearly see and understand that Elsa was punishing herself for something and it had something to do with me. My presence bothered her somehow. Could she know I saw her when her parents took her and Anna to the trolls? That I saw the beginning of her sacrifice? Or did she think I would swoop Anna out of here and take her far, far away?

I honestly didn't know what to make of this situation. She was obviously scared of something. Anna might think Elsa was trying to ruin our wedding for whatever reason, but I thought she was trying to save it. A scared Elsa meant an uncontrollable Elsa. And I just knew Anna would find her and be the feisty pants she always was: abrasive, quick to cut to the point, overstepping her limits... I could just hope nothing terribly bad would come out of it.

But my thoughts were straying. I had a bunch of royals to entertain. A bunch of royals that didn't like me. I had to remind myself of that. They were very mad that I took away their opportunity to fight for Anna's hand. Most of the princes were of lower status. They would love to marry her and step up. It actually made my blood boil; that they could think of Anna as a means to get to a better social position. Much like that psychopath Hans did.

"Your Highness?"

I looked around. Was Anna back already with Elsa? Was I saved from having to deal with narcissistic royals?

"No need to look around, sir. I meant you, really."

Kai was standing right beside me, sporting a smug look on his face. The old fat man always had fun mocking my inability to belong in this castle, in this life.

"You don't need to call me 'Your Highness', Kai."

"Oh, but I do, sir. You are a prince now." And he did a little bow. Kai always knew how to mock me without being disrespectful. He knew I wasn't fit to be a royal; that I'd never belong. He always made sure to remind me of it. At first, I thought he did it because he didn't like me. I mean. I was a loner who pretty much lived in the woods on the North Mountain. My best friend was a reindeer. I didn't have a family. And no matter what I did, I always had a particular smell. Anna liked it, but I knew most people just thought I stank.

But, the more I lived in the castle, the more I understood about Kai and Gerda. If Anna and Elsa were royalty and the soul and head of this place, Kai and Gerda were the brain and the heart. They made everything work. They took care of every detail, from the sister's dresses to what they would eat every morning. Kai always went through the newspapers and letters to keep Elsa aware of what was happening. Gerda always made sure they both were always properly fed (not that Anna needed help with that; Gerda actually had to contain her sometimes).

After their parents died, Kai and Gerda were the only things the sister's had to family. And they were so young and lost that it didn't really surprise me that the servants actually took the position as stepfather and stepmother. They needed guidance only Kai and Gerda could give them. They were the only people the sisters actually interacted with.

So, I started to understand that Kai didn't dislike me. He was trying to teach me. To make me understand that I shouldn't get bigheaded. I was still an ice harvester and no more. I could be married to Anna and, now, have the title of a prince. But I wasn't a prince and I would never be. Neither to this people nor to myself.

In a way, he was constantly reminding me of who I really was. Because it was really easy to get lost in this royal life. Especially if you had a tough life like I had...

"Your Highness."

"Oh, sorry, Kai. Yes, I'm listening." I shook my head. I was starting to acquire some of Anna's worse habits. I was always paying attention to what was happening around me. I had to, on the North Mountain. Why was I getting lost in thought so often?

"I said perhaps you should mingle a bit. Talk to a few people. Make them feel like you are paying attention to them."

"But I don't know half their names!" Why would Anna do this to me? Gods! But who was I kidding? Although we were married now, if it came between Elsa and I, Anna would always choose the former. She had already proven that on The Great Thaw.

"I'll go with you. Gerda is trying to get the band to play more upbeat songs, but they are saying they already played them all. And they are complaining they are hungry."

"Well, on that they are not alone." My stomach was actually grumbling by that point. "Well, then, let's go mingle."

Kai went to the left side of the ballroom (so much for sticking up with me...), but I just stood where I was. I hated royals and had no idea where to start. If only they were all like Anna... Wait. Two of them were! With that idea in mind I started to look for Rapunzel and Eugene. Why hadn't I thought about it earlier? They were perfect. I got along with them fine, people loved Rapunzel and they would completely understand that we were in the middle of a (mini?) crisis.

Standing on the tip of my toes, I thought I could see Eugene's smug face. He was probably trying to use his charm to win some argument with Rapunzel. I had no idea why he still bothered. She never felt for it anyway. I waved, going over to them.

"Kristoff! How is the new prisoner?" Rapuzenl hit him on the shoulder. "I mean, newlywed!" I laughed.

"I'm fine, Eugene, thank you. Actually..." I sighed "No. I'm in a bit of a crisis."

"What, already? Kristoff! I actually thought better of you!" Rapunzel put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. It was in moments like this I could see the family resemblance. Anna was so much like her cousin...

"No, no, Punzel. Relax. I didn't do anything -"

"_Cof _Yet _cof_" I hit Eugene on his shoulder and, this time, he flinched. Turning back to Rapunzel, I carried on. "It's Elsa, actually. She's disappeared. Anna went to look for her."

The princess eyes grew comically large. "Wait. Elsa's missing? What happened? Is she in trouble? Is that Hans creeper back? Should I get my frying pan?"

She actually started moving, pacing around and I could see some people already staring. I grabbed both of them by their elbows and took them to a more secluded spot.

"I don't know what's happening, Punzel. Perhaps Elsa was not feeling well. She's been kinda off since the preparations begun."

"Really?" She put on her thinking face and stared at some point over my shoulder. I could see that I had lost her to her thoughts. For someone who spent most of her life locked in a tower, she was a very intelligent and intuitive person. Perhaps I could ask her for some help with dealing with Anna and Elsa. I mean, as less as they knew about each other, I knew even less. By getting to know Anna, and now marrying her, I got thrown into a problematic situation and I was completely out of my depth.

While Rapuzenl thought, I turned to Eugene. "Hey, do you think you could help me distract everyone? I don't really know how to deal with all these princes and princess..."

"Sure." he said. "What do you have in mind?"

"Well, Kai want me to mingle. And Gerda is trying to get the band to pla-"

His eyes lit up. "The band! Of course!" He grabbed Rapunzel's shoulders, snapping out of her thoughts. "Punzel, dear, remember that time you got those ruffians to spill their dreams and hopes in that shady tavern?"

"Yes... Why?"

"Well, we must do that to these royals!"

She narrowed her eyes and looked at me. "Why? What are you two planning?"

"Oh, come on, Punzel. Since when do you pass the chance to sing? You sing all the time back in Corona!"

She bit her lip. I knew she didn't want to attract attention to herself on Anna's wedding. Some kind of code women had. You weren't supposed to steal the bride's thunder. That was the worst crime a woman could commit. So I decided to ease her mind. "Anna's orders, Punzel." And shrugged.

Letting go of her lower lip, she smiled. "Ok, then. Eugene, what do you have in mind?"

He bent down and whispered in her ear. Her smile grew and I gulped.

"Kristoff, we need your help."

-/-

Fifteen minutes later, Rapunzel had managed to convince the band to play whatever it was that they were planning to sing. Eugene kept looking at me and smirking and I was starting to believe this wasn't such a great idea after all.

Rapuzenl came over to me, grabbed my elbow and led me to the center of the stage. She raised her hand and I could feel a light coming over me. I squinted. Everyone was looking at me now. She stood to my right and Eugene joined me by my left. Suddenly, a few chords started playing.

"I'm oblivious, slow and smelly / But I'm the one that's married / And regardless what you think, I am a prince now." I looked at Rapunzel, shocked. What on earth was she singing?

"But despite my orphan roots / my reindeer / and my... mmm boots!" I looked from Eugene to my boots. What was wrong with them? Looking back at him I saw him quickly mouth _"only rhyme!"_

And together: "I will always do my best and that I vow!"

What was this madness? I couldn't even focus on the rest of the lyrics because they started pushing and pulling me around and I felt like I was back at the time the trolls tried to marry me and Anna when all we wanted was to save her from being frozen forever.

Really, what was wrong with people always pushing me around into music numbers?

But I didn't have time to even breath, let alone think. They raised my arms, made me smile, probed me, pushed me and almost made me trip. I was sweating like a pig, my hair completely disarranged (bye bye ice mouse magic). Anna would definitely kill me. And I didn't have another jacket! She should have ordered three, because apparently normal things didn't happen to me.

My back hurt, my knees felt like enormous balls of some very heavy liquid because I kept falling down and my face was redder than a tomato. So I was really glad when it was all over.

"Yes, way down deep inside I'm a good prince! Yeah!" And both of them raised my arms way above my head and I could feel, and hear like it was deep inside my ear, the fabric of my shirt rip. This wedding couldn't get any better...

But, surprisingly, everyone was up on their feet, applauding Rapunzel and Eugene's ludicrous performance. And they were actually smiling and calling out my name. Was I being... accepted? Could it be that all I had to do was sing and dance a ridiculous song? Really? What was wrong with these people? Gods!

The band started playing another very upbeat song and we got off the stage. Soon, everyone was on the dance floor, inspired by Rapunzel and Eugene's energy. Some people came up to me and congratulated me for the wedding, for the performance, for being a good prince (which I even wasn't yet)... They were giving me votes of confidence, saying they just knew, deep down in their hearts, that I was going to be the very best prince Arendelle had ever had. Even better than King Garoar once was.

I felt offended by that. I could never be better than Anna's father. And just because the man was dead and I was supposedly the new cool prince, they were all sucking up to me. But Anna was the princess and Elsa was the Queen. Elsa was the one that had the power. She was the one that ruled. And she was the one that was better fitted for that.

I looked at the door. I just wished Anna would come bursting through them, dragging her sister with her and remind all of these people who they really pledged fealty for.


	8. Chapter 8

So, this chapter is a bit bigger than the rest. I just couldn't cut it. Aaaaand I'm taking a few chances with it. I hope you guys like it.

Also, I am looking for a beta. I just don't have more time to write and review (besides, even with me reviewing, a lot of mistakes get past me). So, if anyone wants to help me, I'd be really happy! =)

As always, reviews and criticism are much appreciated, even more now that the story is shaping up.

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Chapter 8

It had been half an hour already and it was the second time I went past the same clock. My feet had started hurting from all the dancing and, now, walking desperately in a fast pace, looking for Elsa. I was starting to sweat and I could feel the knot in the white band on my hair start to undo itself. That was just great. Gerda would talk my ear off for it took her half an hour to get it just right.

What was Elsa thinking? The stinker _knew_ she was supposed to make a speech at the toast. Was it really that frightening and difficult to say what a lovely person I was? Really. She just had to stand there, like she has done many times in other official ceremonies, and tell all those insignificant people how special I was.

Gods! She could even tell stories, like the time _my love_ thawed her ungrateful ice. She could tell them how we used to play around as kids, on the snow, running across the halls. Me making a mess with her right behind me trying to fix everything up.

I remember this one time we were playing hide and seek and I hid behind an armor. I was so sure she wouldn't find me. I mean, I was really small! Gerda used to say I was the smallest child she had ever seen. And that, when 3 years old Elsa saw me for the first time in my crib, she looked in awe at our parents and asked in wonder how I could be so little. They just laughed and she looked back at baby Anna, vowing very seriously that she would always protect me, no matter what. Gerda said mother started to cry and hugged her and Elsa looked visibly confused at that. For her it was obvious that someone as small as myself would always need protection.

Anyway. I was hiding behind an armor and I don't know how she found me. That cheat, for she had to be cheating, found me. But she didn't find me like a normal person would. No. She snuck up behind me and, tickling my sides, yelled into my ear. Of course I jumped three feet high, knocking down the armor in the process.

I thought those armors were supposed to be strung together. Or glued. I don't know. I always thought of them as a whole, not as pieces. When it was knocked down, however, it completely dismantled. Pieces went flying everywhere. One went up and, as I looked up to see it, came down on my forehead. The angry red bump stood proudly on my forehead for almost a month. Mother almost had a heart attack when she saw it. Father... Sternly reprehended Elsa for being irresponsible. I had never acknowledge that; not until Elsa told me her father wasn't exactly like my father.

When the armor fell down, the first thing Elsa did was to check on me. She probed me, turned my head that way, then that other way. Asked me a thousand times how I was feeling; put fingers in front of me and asked how many there were; and then hugged me. I could feel my hair getting wet but I couldn't understand why on earth she would be crying. It had been a little accident. Those things happened. Mother actually got relieved when I finished the day with only a couple of bruises.

The truth is that Elsa had always been scared of hurting me. Since the day she first saw me. And I was always sure she couldn't. That no matter how much she tried, she would never be able to hurt me. Now, I understood there were other kinds of pain that she could inflict. She was hurting me right now by not being there for me. On my own wedding. What if Kristoff had been a prince from another kingdom and I had to go and live with him at his castle? What would we have left of our relationships other than those last few days, the wedding, a few exchanged letters through the years, a few scattered visits and our memories of happier times?

I refused to believe that Elsa's fears had tainted out happy memories so much that she couldn't even bear to use them to entertain a few guests. I mean, we had so much fun they would always be impressed on my brain and bring a smile to my-

I halted suddenly. Hadn't she told me the trolls messed with my memories so I'd forget her powers? Couldn't they have altered my memories as a whole, then? Elsa's powers have always been a part of her. And as I now love her with them, I probably loved her with them at that time as well. So, in truth, _my _memories were the ones that were tainted. The trolls not only deprived me of the truth but they deprived both of us of unconditional love.

I loved Elsa. I always have. And always will. It has brought me much pain over the years and, knowing how difficult and complex she is, it will bring me even more. But I wouldn't change it for anything; for uncomplicated love. Because it would meant loving someone else. And I _love_ her for _all she is_.

But I couldn't love her that strongly before her coronation because I didn't know. I didn't know what she was capable of. And no matter how many times I said I loved her, those words would have been shallow and without meaning. She knew it. I didn't.

Our memories were different. I didn't matter that, in reality, we had lived the same thing. My memories had been altered, so it was as if I didn't. Her childhood before she hit me was different from the one I had. Because my memories would never come back, our pasts, although lived together, would always be different. What was supposed to bound us, only separated us more.

I could now see why she would run away. Why it must have hurt so much that she just couldn't do it. It still made me furious that she didn't tell me. I would have understood. I am her sister. I love her and I don't want to cause her any pain. It's just a wedding, for Gods' sakes! It wouldn't have killed me if she told me she couldn't make the speech because she still wasn't over everything that happened. _I_ still wasn't over and would get really mad when I thought about everything.

I started walking again. Just letting my feet take me wherever, trying to absorb all the conclusions I had reached. I wouldn't look for Elsa anymore. If it was too painful, I would respect her wish not to do it and to be by herself. It saddened me that even now we still didn't have that sisterly relationship, but I reckoned it would really take a few more years.

As I reached the corridor of her study, I started to hear a change in the music and I thought I actually recognized the singing voices. A higher one and a lower one. A woman and a man. Was that... Rapunzel and Eugene? Oh Gods, what was Kristoff doing? And what was I thinking leaving him there? It was a horrible and rude decision. He was my husband now. I wasn't supposed to leave him every time I thought Elsa needed me more. Sure she was my sister, but he was going to be the father of my children. He had always been and was going to be forever now the one to pick up the pieces of my heart Elsa always managed to leave behind of her fits.

And I loved him. Even if we weren't married now, that was enough for me to regret leaving him behind to come look for Elsa. This marriage, although an official requirement, was as unnecessary as boots on a slippery floor. It only made it official, in the eyes of foreign kingdoms, that he was mine and I was his.

I loved him and he was mine.

That was the phrase that my mind kept repeating in a loop when I reached Elsa's study. I would just look there and head back for the party. I had been looking for half an hour. This was the last place. I wouldn't cost me anything. The mess was already made, right?

And there, by the door, I could see Elsa's boots. She was in there. Had been all along. I looked around; everything seemed to be normal until I noticed a damp spot on the wall. I knelt besides it and ran my hand over it. It was still wet and cold. Melted ice.

For her to have frozen the wall, she must have been in quite a state of distress. I stood up and went over to the door. The air felt warm enough, like the rest of the castle. A cool breeze was coming in through an open window, but it was a typical spring breeze. The door and the doorknob weren't cold to the touch. She must have come here to try to calm down and reign control over her powers.

I didn't have to debate for one second whether I should go in or not. That much I knew my sister. If her powers had been running wild, the last person she would want to see was me for fear she would hurt me. I shook my head and sighed. _Oh, Elsa, when would you understand that you can't hurt me anymore?_

The first time she did, she just hurt my head. Grandpappie managed to fix it very easily. The second time was trickier. But not because it was my heart. I understand it now. We had been separated for so long and were so deep in doubt and fear that there was no space for love. I was selfish and she was scared. All I wanted was to have a sister, but I never really thought about what she wanted. _I_ wanted companionship. _She_ was my sister. She had to spend time with me and love me. But I only thought of her as _my_ sister. Not as Elsa, a person. It took an act of true love to prove that there was love between us still. But now? Is there any doubt? Isn't it an instinct? I left my husband to look for her.

Anyway, it was time I headed back. Nothing good would come out of me being here. Elsa wouldn't make the speech. I would have to ask Rapunzel, make up a story to justify Elsa's absence. It wouldn't really be complicated. People would surely talk, but, whatever, let them talk. They already were because Kristoff was a commoner. Let them think Elsa didn't fully agree with the marriage. It might make them love her even more.

Turning around, I wiped a few tears I had only now noticed had fallen and quickened my step. It was still my wedding. The only wedding I would get and I would thoroughly enjoy it or Gods help me.

The closer I got, more I could hear the music getting louder and the voices becoming more distinct. The air was also getting warmer and I could feel a wave of happiness coming off in the direction of the ballroom. And right there, outside by the door was Olaf.

I smiled seeing the small snowman. Elsa wasn't here, but at least a part of her would always be, no matter what. But the smile faded when I saw that Olaf had a rare serious look on his face. Approaching him, I got down on my knees, but he didn't seem to have seen me.

"Olaf?" I grabbed his thin wooden arm. That seemed to have shaken him out of his reverie and he looked at me, but didn't smile.

"Something is wrong." He whispered. I frowned.

"What's wrong?" I whispered back. I don't know why; I didn't have any reason to whisper, but something about Olaf's demeanor told me that even though I couldn't see what was wrong, something very serious was happening.

"I don't know." He looked down and I thought I saw something glistering in his eyes. "I just feel it. I'd say I feel it in my bones, but I don't have any." He paused.

I waited for him to carry on, but he just kept looking at the floor. Whatever it was, it was truly disturbing him, so I hugged him. He always like my hugs and I could hear him sigh in content.

"Can you tell me what you're feeling?"

He hugged me closer. "I can't explain. I just feel that something is terribly wrong."

"When did you start to feel it?"

He took his time thinking about it and I thought perhaps that was a tricky question for him. He was much like a kid in many ways and, though very sensitive, he still had trouble identifying some emotions as they came.

"Just tell me what happened. I saw you smelling flowers."

"Yeaaaaah. They were beautiful, Anna. You did a great job." Talking about flowers always improved his mood and I could hear a tinge of happiness back on his voice.

"Thank you, Olaf. You were smelling the flowers, then what?"

"I bumped into this huge lady." Probably some royal from the southern kingdoms. They tend to be fatter because the weather is better for planting diversified types of food.

"Did you hug her?"

"Yes, though, at first, she didn't want to hug me. But then this prince from an island helped her hug me."

Prince from an island? Hans? I froze. Could he be here?

"His name was funny." He laughed and I could feel his small body shake. I sighed in relieve. It wasn't Hans.

"What was it?"

"An... eus? us? He told me I could call him Ne." Some insignificant prince from the south probably.

"Ok. What happened when you met this Ne?"

He paused again and I could feel this was the moment he got that bad feeling. So, not an insignificant prince after all.

"He had a beautiful flower on his jacket. It smelled like Elsa."

I let go of him and looked at him. I wanted to see his expression talking about that prince. "It must have been a beautiful flower, then."

He looked dreamy. "It was." And then haunted. "But it smelled wrong."

I frowned. "Why wrong?"

"I don't know, Anna. But then I tried to get away from him and saw Elsa running away somewhere and he grabbed my arm and I got confused with his name and I was already confused by the difference between an island and a castle... " What? "So I came out here to wait for you after I saw you going out."

I stared at him for a while and he stared back at me expectantly. Sometimes he would speak very fast, mixing everything and without taking a pause. Elsa had no trouble understanding it, but it usually took me a few seconds to fully understand. Kristoff would usually give up.

"You saw Elsa run away?" He nodded. "She wasn't feeling very well, so she decided to retire for the night. You mustn't worry, my little snowman."

"You saw her?"

I didn't like lying, but he looked so troubled I thought it was the only way to ease his mind. "Yes."

"And nothing bad happened to her?"

"No."

I saw him sigh in relief. "Well, if you say so, let's get back to the party! Hehehehe." And he grabbed my hand had pulled (almost dragged) me back in.

"Olaf, slow down a minute." He stopped and turned back to me. "I need to find Rapunzel and ask her to make the speech. Could you possibly see where that prince is? I want to talk to him. mmmm Ask about that flower. If it smelled like Elsa, I want it."

He looked absolutely happy about the prospect of having a new type of flower to smell whenever he wanted. "Sure!" And quickly paddled away, yelling names like _Annus_, _Annual_ and _Ne_.

I turned around looking for my cousin, but she wasn't hard to find. She was making quite a scene on the dance floor, twirling around with Eugene and... Was that Kristoff? And who was the bimbo rubbing all over him?

Rushing over to him, I could already feel the blood pumping in my veins. How dared she? Dancing with _my husband_,_ my man_ on my _own_ wedding party? Oh, I was going rip that pretty dark hair from her skull. I was also going to claw her eyes out. Tell the guards to give her to the wolfs! That was what I was going to do.

The floor trembled whenever my feet stomped on the floor. Guests turned around to watch me; the few that were in my way rushed to make way. I could hear the whispers and feel the dark grey smoke coming out of my ears. When I finally reached them, I simply yanked the harlot by her hair. Who had invited her anyway?

"OUCH" She screamed while she struggled to regain her balance, her hair still held in my fist. "What on earth do you think you are doing?" She started to slap my wrist, but I kept my firm hold.

"Anna, what are you doing? Stop it." Kristoff tried to reach out for me, while still maintaining a secure distance. Rapunzel and Eugene also got closer, trying to hold off the onlookers that were already gathering around us.

"Why were you dancing with my husband?" I hissed into her ear as she started to try to scratch my arm.

"Husband? What are you talki-" She stopped struggling and I could see realization sinking in. "Your Highness?" She went completely limb and I let go of her. She fell hard on the ground and immediately stood on her knees, her head bowed.

"I'm sorry, Your Highness. I was just... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry. We were just dancing. Nothing more." She sobbed. I could feel Rapunzel fulminating me with her eyes.

Gods, what had I done? Everyone was staring at me with disbelieve in their eyes. _I_ myself couldn't believe in what I had just done. This was not me. Sure I was a bit of a feisty pants, but grabbing that woman's hair and dragging her was an act of a hateful woman.

I gasped and covered my mouth. Kristoff quickly realized that, perhaps, a more private setting would be better and, then, together with Eugene and Rapunzel, started to shoo people away. This wedding was quickly becoming a huge mess and a scandal. The Queen, maid of honor, simply disappears and the bride manhandles a poor woman in a fit of hateful jealousy.

I got to my knees in front of the woman. "I'm _SO_ sorry. I didn't mean to mistreat you like that. I just... I saw you with Kristoff and... I don't know." I pushed a few invisible strands behind my left ear. "I saw you with him and I just saw red. I've been solving so many crisis in these past few months that I just couldn't stand the thought of some woman throwing herself at my husband." I paused, thinking about what I've said and cringed at the rudeness of it. I really should think before I talk. "Not that you were throwing yourself at him! I mean. I thought you were, but it doesn't mean that you were. I just had that impression. A misguided impression apparently. I-" I should have just stopped talking. I was only making things worse. "I'm sorry."

The poor girl raised her head and looked at me with misty eyes. "Your Highness, I would never throw myself at Prince Kristoff." It was still so weird to hear people mentioning Kristoff as a prince. "Especially not at his, your wedding." She sobbed once again and I reached out for her hand, only to stop midway through.

"Besides, Your Highness, you have nothing to worry about. He only has eyes for you and you're gorgeous." I looked down, blushing. She giggled. "You are. I would totally hit on you..."

Wait, what? "Wait, what?"

She looked around and whispering, looking back to me. "I'm gay. So, you really have nothing to worry about Kris-"

"You're gay?"

"Yeah."

"Like, you like girls, instead of boys?"

"Yeah...?"

I just kept on staring at her. Gay? I don't know why, but that piece of information just grabbed my attention. I had met gay people before. I mean, my dress designer is gay and lives with his lover at the north of the town. But I never met a gay... woman.

"Are you ok, Your Highness?"

"Yes, yes, yes, I am. I'm just..." I stuttered, trying to cover my reaction. I still didn't even know how I had reacted really. I sighed. "A lot of really stressful things have happened and are happening. I'm just tired. I wasn't thinking. I really apologize for my outburst. I hope I didn't hurt you."

She gave me a small reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Your Highness. I'm fine." She bit her lower lip and gave me an hesitant look. "If you ever want to talk, Your Highness, Kristoff says I have a very patient set of ears."

That took me by surprise. "You know him?"

"She works at the local bakery. They were always ordering ice to conserve some ingredients and make others." Rapunzel finally decided to come back and asses the situation. "He invited her and, after our brilliant performance, she came up to... mmm"

"Make fun of him, Your Highness. It was actually really fun to see him singing and dancing on the stage." She put her hand on her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"Kristoff sang and danced?" She nodded and I stood to my feet, extending my hand towards her. "Well, you must tell me all about it, then! I want to laugh as well. What's the point of marrying the man if I don't make fun of him?"

She laughed and took my hand, getting up. I hooked her arm through my left one and Rapunzel's through my right and started walking towards the food table. My cousin gave me an inquisitory look, probably wondering what was happening to me. But that girl... I just had to know her. She intrigued and fascinated me.

"So, come on. Tell me all about it!" And we giggled, leaving the boys behind us, not understanding what was happening. But I still could sense them turning to each other and whispering _"women..."_. I could just roll me eyes in my mind, while... I stopped. "Wait, what's you name?"

"Elina, Your Highness."

"Nice to meet you Elina." I bumped her hip with mine. "But two things. One, it's Anna, not Your Highness. Kristoff's friends are also my friends and my friends don't call me 'Your Highness'." Well, I didn't really have any friends apart from Kristoff as the rest of them was all related to me in some way... "And second, I've never heard a name like yours. What does it mean?"

"My mother says it's a nordic form of Helene, which means sun. She says my father had yellow hair, as bright as the sun. So she gave me this name to remind her of him, although it did not suit me very well with my dark hair and skin that can't really stand a second in the sun." She twisted a strand with her free name.

I smiled at her. "Well, it's beautiful. So it does suit you very well." She blushed. "Now, tell me all about Kristoff singing and dancing."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N at the end of chapter.

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Chapter 9

I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything. It was as if my consciousness wasn't anything. I was without being. And I couldn't remember what had happened a second ago. Or was it hours ago? Days? Weeks? Time just didn't exist wherever I was.

It was such a good feeling to be weightless, free of whatever it was that always tied me down. Free of myself, of being... What was I? I... I was... My name was... I just- I just couldn't remember.

But I had to know. It was very important to know who I was because- No. It wasn't that that was important. It was another thing. Something I couldn't ever forget. And yet, I didn't know what it was anymore. I had... Forgotten? No. I hadn't forgotten. It was here. Somewhere. But how to find it if I didn't have any notion whether I was moving or not? Or where I was and what was my body.

I remember... I remember I had feet. Two feet. And I remember... I used to stomp it and everything around me would become... ice? Yes. Ice. If I could just stomp it now, I would be able to know I was standing on ice. I would have a location reference. I could do it. I just had to picture it. Picture the many times I did it.

One: I was 8 years old. Someone had awaken me. I couldn't see her face or her shape. She was just this red spirit. Uncontrollable and untamable. She woke me and there was nothing I could do other than obey her. She wanted me to do the magic, so I did. I stomped my feet and suddenly I could feel.

I felt the ground, slippery and cold. I wanted to see it because I knew, just knew, deep inside of whatever I was, that there was something so beautiful and powerful about that ice. That it was as much part of me and the eyes that I was lacking once were.

I could see. I had eyes. I just had to use it, to open them. They were... Blue. An icy blue just like this ice should be. I could remember seeing them reflected on a smooth surface. It was surrounded by a face that wasn't mine. Or was it?

Two: was that small nose mine? Those lower cheekbones and that squared jaw? That small mouth, set in a serious thin line? I could feel them on my face, so I supposed that they were. But they also belong to someone else. And when I tried to remember who that person was, all I could remember were covered mirrors. But there was a glimpse of a hair that I knew wasn't mine. It was brown and warm, like a hot chocolate.

I looked down and I finally could see. I saw my face reflected on the ice. The small nose, the lower cheekbones and the squared jaw. My hair was white. Whitish blonde. Yes. Because of the ice. It was whitish blonde because of the ice. My hair and eyes reflected the ice, making me different than that other person. But why?

I wanted to touch everything. To touch my face, to see if I was as cold as the ice was. But I remember it was dangerous. There was something wrong with my touch. I looked at my hands but there was nothing there. Squinting my eyes, I forced them to see my hands. I kept on looking and looking until I finally saw it.

Three: I touched a windowpane and ice spread all over it. I picked up two strange objects made of gold and they turned to ice. That red spirit was jumping from snow mount to snow mount, too quick for me and I jet of ice came out of my hand, hitting the red spirit.

Wait. Stop it. I didn't want to see it anymore. I _knew_ nothing good would come out of it. I looked up and saw only an white empty space. But-

Four: sharp shards of glass came out of my hand, hitting the wall.

Five: that shard in my hand, my arm swinging and swinging on a man's fa-

Stop it! I don't want to see it! I don't want to see me ripping my father's face apart. That man was my father. Garoar. Dressed in a green vest because he was... King. King Garoar. He was my father.

Six: my hand stopped just an inch above that person's face. I could see that it was a woman. Small nose, lower cheekbones and squared jaw. Dark blue eyes and dark brown hair. She was... Mother. Idun. Queen Idun. She was... mommy.

And I was Elsa. Queen Elsa of Arendelle. The one the people called _The Ice Queen_.

Suddenly I could see myself reflected on the ice I was standing. My pale face and hair were dirty, smudged with a red paint...? No. That was blood. My blood. I remembered it now. I hurt myself when I was trying to hurt my parents. But they were dead. How could I hurt the dead? It didn't matter; I was angry with them. But they had been dead for years. They still messed me up! I was a monster because of them!

I stumbled and fell backwards, but, instead of following me, my reflection got away from me. I still could see my surprised and scared face and I kept staring at it until, suddenly, it transformed. I could see my face changing, my hair getting shorter, darker; my pained expression becoming a permanent scowl and evil smirk; my desperate eyes only showed madness now.

I got up and so did it. It escaped the realm of the reflected ice and stood, in front of me, in all its dark glory. We kept on staring at one another and at some point, that smirk transformed in an expression of pity. She was pitying me.

"Oh, Elsa." She started walking towards me. She had a grace that couldn't be ordinary and from this world. It was like the ice was making her move forward. She didn't have to make a single effort moving. Her hips had a small hypnotic sway and gave away such confidence, sass and sexyness I knew I would never have the courage the convey.

"Elsaaa." She was taunting me as she got closer and closer. She was almost near me and I started to feel really cold. I had never felt cold, but I could see my body complaining that every cell in it was freezing.

She stopped a foot from me and just looked at me. Up and down, she sized me out. And by the look on her face, it was clear she thought very lowly of me. She actually looked disgusted at looking at me, as if I wasn't worth it of even breathing the same air as her.

"Elsa."

Stop saying my name. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Or was she saying her name? Were we the same person? She shook her head. Could she hear my thoughts? I looked down as I could not bear to feel her eyes piercing into mine, reaching deep into my soul. I was scared. I didn't know what was happening. I just wanted it all to end. I closed my eyes and started to count to ten over and over again. I had learned to do that as a kid whenever I could feel the fear, the desperation taking over.

"Open your eyes, Elsa."

I didn't want to. I didn't want to obey her. I didn't want to giver her power over me. But there wasn't anything I could do; my eyes just opened on their own accord. And, reflected on the ice, was 8 years old me. Dressed the same way as that day I hit Anna's head. The red spirit's head. The same look of fear that I knew there had been in my eyes when the trolls told me my future. The future could have been.

"Elsaaaaaaa."

I looked up. She was the future that could have been. If I hadn't been locked away. If I had been allowed to keep hurting and destroying everything within my reach. She was the real monster. She was what I had been fighting agains all my life. Though, apparently, I failed at that task because there she was standing tall and proud and powerful. And there I was: small, broken, shattered and afraid.

Starting to walk backwards, I wasn't thinking. I just knew I had to get away from her. As far away as possible. She couldn't reach me; she couldn't catch me. I had to escape her. But my legs were too small. They were... legs of a 11 years old. She reached me very easily and raised her hand to touch my face.

"Oh, Elsa. Elsa."

I tried to slap her hand away from me, but she it was like she couldn't even feel the slaps. I tried to hit her harder, but she just used her other hand to grab both of mine. She was too strong for me. I could escape.

"Just open you eyes, Elsa."

My eyes were open! Couldn't she see it? Icy blue eyes full of fear. Wasn't she enjoying that image?

"Come on, Elsa."

She tucked a strand of my bloodied hair behind my ear.

"Just wake up." Wait. Her voice had changed. It was deeper and shaky.

"Elsa, come on. You need to open your eyes." It was more desperate.

How could I open my eyes if they were already open? I tried speaking, to say that I already had my eyes opened; that I wished I had them closed to escape this nightmare. But my voice wouldn't come out. I choked on the words, but no sound came out. So I looked into her eyes, trying to ask what my mouth refused to ask.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. I had a feeling I had to close mine as well, so I did. "Open" she said and when I did, I didn't see her icy blue eyes. I didn't see her smooth face; her black hair; her evil expression.

I saw a pair of green eyes partly covered by rich red hair. Green eyes that looked at me with such worry and care that I thought they could only belong to one person... "Anna?"

Relief flooded the face in front of me. "Oh thank the Gods!"

"Anna? Is that you?" My voice came out weak and hoarse.

I could feel strong arms going under my knees and behind my back, lifting me up and carrying me. Anna would never be able to do that. Especially so swiftly and gracefully like that.

"Who are you?" I asked, but the only reply I got was a question in return. "Where does that door lead?"

I didn't even know where I was and this man wanted me to know where a door I couldn't even see led? I shook my head. "Who _are _you?" I tried to demand an answer, but my voice was too weak to compel anything at all.

"Guess we'll just have to find out." Was he talking about who we was or about the door? As he started walking, I supposed it was the latter and sensed I wouldn't be getting my answer anytime soon. I could close my eyes for a little bit, then, right? His arms felt so warm...

When I opened my eyes again, he was putting me down on a bed. He was so graceful I didn't even feel his struggling to open the door. He just put me down as gently as if I was made of glass.

"How are you feeling, Your Majesty?"

"Where am I?"

He looked at me confused. "You don't know?" I shook my head. "I don't really know. I think this was the king's chambers. I was at the wedding, but I was getting tired of the songs so I went out for a little bit of air."

My parent's room? I looked around. I had to go deep in my memories to remember which room was this. Predominately blue with a touch of white, it had my mother's presence in every little thing. She never allowed me here. The only time I came here was just after their deaths. I missed her so much and was feeling so lonely. I had taken all of her dresses out of the closet, spread them over the bed and buried myself in them. I just wanted to be surrounded by her. To feel like she still was with me.

"This is... Was my mother's room." I whispered.

Silence fell heavy upon us. I didn't feel like talking or inquiring this strange man what he was doing here or how he'd found me. It was all coming back to me now. The despair, the fear, the anger... I had destroyed my parent's room. I had ripped my father's face apart. I acted like a true monster.

"Are you ok, Your Highness?"

'Your Highness'. Dead parents made me a Queen. Pff. Poor Arendelle. They'd be much better off with Anna as Queen. Anna, my little sister. My married little sister. The lo- Wait.

"How did you get here?"

The stranger looked surprised. "I went out for a bit of air..."

"No, you didn't. This room is far away from the ballroom. You wouldn't even have come near it if you just went out for air."

He looked away and didn't say anything. I could see that he was trying to come up with a good excuse. I felt weak, but I also felt threatened and that gave me the strength to scoot away from him and swing my legs over the edge of the bed, ready to stand up and fight if needed.

"Don't bother trying to tell me a lie. Just out with it. What are you doing here." He remained silent. "Tell me or I'll freeze you."

That got his attention. He looked at me with eyes huge, but full of disbelieve. People still couldn't see that I was a monster.

"Come on, now. You can start with your name and what your doing here." I waved my hand at him and a thin line of ice started to cover his hand. He recoiled in fear.

"I'm Prince Annæus, prince of Egilsay."

Probably just another Hans. "And what are you doing here? The truth."

He gulped. "I went out for air, but the castle is just so beautiful. I always liked architecture, so I wandered. Only I got lost and..."

I shook my head. What was this fool thinking? Terrible liar he was. I stood up and faced him. "Tsc tsc tsc. Now, now. That's not the truth, is it?" I waved my hand again, and another layer of ice started to cover his other hand.

He looked at me with pleading eyes, but hurried to say what I wanted to hear. "I saw Princess Anna leaving the ballroom in a hurry. You were nowhere to be seen. I presumed she was looking for you. That something had happened."

"Carry on..."

"I got lost. Really I did!" He raised his frozen hands in surrender. "I swear. This is a very big castle. That's when I heard all the noise coming from that other room. I tried to get in, but the door was sealed by ice."

I made a disgusted face. What a fool. Had he come in a bit earlier he would have been caught in the middle of the storm. I could have killed him and I wouldn't even know so lost I was in my rage. "And you thought it was a nice idea to go into a room from which you could hear a lot of noises and that had the door sealed by ice?"

He just shrugged and looked at me. That bothered me. He wasn't just looking at me. And it wasn't even staring. His green eyes were boring into my soul. Like he could see every little dark corner and tried to shed some light. They were surprisingly warm and reminded me of... Anna. I stifled a gasp. It was very off-putting and strange, yet I felt drawn to him. But I had to resist him. He was a stranger. But he had helped me; he had saved me. It was only now that I noticed rags tied on my arm and hands. I looked at him and saw that his vest was buttoned all wrong. He had probably ripped his undershirt to attend to my wounds. Why would he do that?

Suddenly he stood up and walked towards me. I wanted to back away, but I had to stand my ground. He was a mere prince from a small island lost somewhere. But when he reached up and put a strand of my hair behind my ear, I flinched.

"You don't have to be like this, you know." He gave a small smile. "You are not a monster."

Yes, I was. How could he say that I wasn't. He had seen the destruction I caused in my parents room.

"You are just lost, Elsa."

"Don't call me that. I don't know you." I meant to move my head out of his hand, but he held it touching my face.

"I don't need to know you to see you. To see that you are lost and afraid." He caressed my cheek. "To see that you need someone to help you. To help you to the light."

I had to laugh at that. "And who do you think you are? What makes _you_ my savior? You're just a little prince."

He remained unaffected. "I'm no one. No one of importance really. But does that matter? All it really matters is that I can see it. See your pain. See that you love, but punish yourself for it."

"You should watch what you say next, prince. It is well for you to remember that one order from me and you'll spend the rest of your days in a cell."

He smirked. "What? No more 'I'll freeze you' threats?' You are not a monster, Elsa. I just wish that you could see it. That you could look in the mirror and see what a beautiful person you are."

"As I keep reminding you, you don't know me."

He let his hand fall by his side and I could finally breath again. "You're scared. You feel something you think you shouldn't feel. Mainly because you still believe that you shouldn't feel at all. That you still have to be a proper machine. But you're not. And you do feel. You feel things more intensively than anyone. But you have been hiding from your feelings and, therefore, you don't know how to deal with them. And the only person that you thought could help you got married today. She's married to a loner, a commoner, a peasant. But he's nice and she loves him. And soon, he'll take her away from you. He's her husband now, after all. She has to tend to him. Soon, they'll have kids. And you'll hide away again, to scared to get to know your nephews and nieces. Because you just know that you'll see her and only her in them. It won't matter that they could have his hair or his eyes. They will be only hers. And, since the only thing you are good at is hurting her, you'll no doubt hurt them too. They will make you remember what could have been. That no matter how much love you feel, a monster can only destroy. But, Elsa, you are not a monster. Can't you see that?"

As tears started to well up in my eyes, I decided it was best I stayed alone. My emotions were in a complete havoc. I had to get control over them. I had to conceal. I had to stop feeling. I swallowed the tears, pointed to the door and all but growled. "Get out. Get away from me, you charlatan. I don't know why you think you know me or why you'd say all those things, all of which are completely off, but I want you gone. Get away from here, from my castle, from my kingdom. If, in an hour, I find out you haven't left, I'll have you completely frozen in a cell." He stood motionless, his face impassive. "Get out!"

He looked at me surprised at my last outburst and finally started to move towards the door, going through it still looking at me. He shook his head and left, closing the door behind him. When I could no longer hear his footsteps, I crumbled, falling to my knees, burying my head in my hands, letting the tears fall. My hands muffled my screams. He was right. He had everything right. He had seen me. He didn't mention _it_, but had he seen everything.

I was so lost in my thoughts, in my tears that it startled me when I felt two arms being wrapped around me. I felt his warmth again. I tried to fight it, but he held me tight. I couldn't move. I was locked in his warm and loving (?) embrace. I had just met this man. I couldn't be so trusting with someone I had just met. Hadn't I told something similar to Anna?

"It's alright, Elsa. You are not a monster. You are not."

He was so assertive, his hand running through my hair and caressing my back, that I almost believed him. I wanted to believe him. So I buried my head in his chest, letting my hair fall over my eyes, hiding me away from the world, from the pain, from the fear, from the wedding. From Anna. I was so absorbed in that bubble he had created, that I didn't noticed, falling over my eyes, a darker strand where once had only been whitish blonde hair.

* * *

Hey guys. Ok, forgive all mistakes and errors. I actually posted this in a hurry because if I hadn't, I wouldn't be able to post today.

I think that with this chapter, you can probably understand more where this is going. And it's going to be a very long journey. As this wedding has been. Man, I feel like I'm writing the last season of How I Met Your Mother so long this wedding has been. I'm on chapter 11 and I haven't wrapped it up yet!

Anyway. I have to say that, from now on, I'll update weekly at thursdays. I have way too much work at school right now, so time is limited. Besides, chapters are getting a bit bigger, so they require more from me.

As always, reviews and criticism are welcome! =)


	10. Chapter 10

Ok, there was a comment about Elsa being bi and I just want to address it at once. I haven't read You Are and, in my mind, Elsa is as gay as they come. That being said, you have to remember that (i) Elsa is a very complex character and has a very complicated relationship with accepting who she is; (ii) she's the Queen, so she knows what would be expected of her if she wasn't born with powers: get married, have kids; (iii) all Elsa wants to be is normal. So, is she bi? I don't know. I think she's a woman trying to find her place in the world and find herself. Just because she may be involved with a man (and I'm not saying she will because I haven't written that yet and what is not written may always change), it doesn't make her less gay (so strange to say that). It just mean she's trying to find herself.

Now, I don't know how it was done in You Are. So I can't really say if that's how I'm doing it. I can only say: have faith. Concerning Elsa's gayness, I know what I'm doing.

Anyway, I hope you guy enjoy it. And, once again, review and criticism are welcome.

This is from Anna's POV.

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Chapter 10

Once we reached the foods table, I asked Elina if she could find Gerda for me. Since I now knew that Elsa wouldn't be making the speech, there was no impediment for us to finally have dinner. And I needed to talk to Rapunzel about her making the speech and I'd better do it privately.

I could feel a tug on my hand and looked over to see her gesturing me to lean in closer. "Anna, where's Elsa?"

I sighed. "Punzel, about that. I need to ask you a favor." She nodded and looked at me expectantly. "I need you to make the speech."

"Why?" She now looked suspicious. "What's going on? Where's Elsa? What happened?"

Why did you have to be so curious, Punzel? I huffed. I absolutely hated lying. I felt like everyone had been lying to me my entire life: Elsa, my parents, Gerda and Kai... Well, Elsa hadn't lied to me technically, but I consider omitting and hiding to be the same thing as lying. It stops me from learning the entire truth. And now I would be lying for the second time tonight.

"She isn't feeling very well, Punzel. She, too, has been stressed about the wedding and the preparations. She's the Queen after all. This wedding counted for a few diplomatic meetings as well, you know. And Weaseltown has been bothering her again. And there was also that other-"

Rapunzel held her hand up. "Cut the crap, Anna. I know I might have been raised inside a tower and did not see the world until a few years ago. And also my 'mother'" she used her fingers for the quote "might have fooled me into believing I wasn't capable of anything for years, but..." She laughed a little." Yes, it does sound like I'm a fool, but" her face became serious "I am not. So cut the crap and tell me what the hell is going on!" She stomped her foot. I knew that act. That was _my_ act! "I won't be doing you any favors until you tell me what's going on."

Why did she have to make things so difficult? Urg. I huffed.

"Ok, Punzel, look. I don't really know what's going on. I can only guess. I'm as much in the dark as you are." She gave me a disbelieving look. "It's true! I don't know why Elsa has run away." I started pacing. Yes, I was going to tell her everything. I suddenly couldn't keep it all to myself anymore.

"She started acting weird since Kristoff and I started dating. But I always took it for sisterly jealousy. I mean, we had just reconnected with each other and suddenly I had someone new in my life as well and needed to divide my attention between them. And, you know, Elsa being Elsa" I snorted. "she decided that she'd better choose for me because Gods forbid I make a decision myself." I started talking in a mocking voice. "Poor little Anna, incapable of doing anything on her own. Always needing to be protected, to be left in the dark, to be rescued... Arg." I threw my hands in the air.

"Anna" Rapunzel started impatiently. "You are getting beside the point. Get to it!"

"Ok, ok. So she has been acting weird ever since. Kind of distant and all. But the weird thing was that she was the one that insisted Kristoff and I simply _had_ to marry!"

She raised her hand once again. "Wait. So you two did not want to marry?"

"No, no. We did. It's just that we thought... Actually, we weren't thinking about it at the time. We were just enjoying each other's company. Going on adventures with Sven and Olaf. It was all really fun."

"I don't see how a wedding could change that." Rapunzel said softly.

I sighed. How could I explain it? "I don't really know how to explain, Punzel. We had different upbringings. You never really knew how was the life of a royal."

She looked kind of offended. "You're right, I didn't. But when I found out I was a princess, I was just thrown into this life of royalty. Eugene and me. You think I don't understand what you are going through? I get most of it, yes. If not all of it. I was a lost princess. My people had always loved me somehow. They never lost faith that, one day, they would find me. That's why they kept sending the lanterns up the sky every year. And, then, Eugene brings me back. But he's a thief. He had been wanted by the crown for years! Yes, everyone was really happy he brought me back, but they weren't really all that happy that I was planning on marrying him. So, all that judgment you and Kristoff have to endure, we had to endure as well."

"But you have to admit that Eugene's much more outgoing and charming than Kristoff, right?"

She sighed and looked at me with pity in her eyes. "Oh, Anna. You still have so much to learn. About being married. About having a husband that other royals do not approve. You have to understand that no matter what he does, no matter his flaws and faults, he is a prince now. Your prince. And you have to defend him. No matter what. Now I see what you mean when you said you two weren't ready for marriage."

"But that's not what I meant!" Gods, Rapunzel could be so infuriating sometimes. I hadn't meant it like that. Of course, it was all true. And I'd known deep inside my soul, but I hadn't admitted it yet. I loved Kristoff, but my actions were still erratic. I would leave him to chase after Elsa and then have a jealous fit seeing him dancing with some other woman.

"What did you mean then?"

"That we weren't ready to make it official yet."

Rapunzel rolled her eyes. "That's kinda what I said, Anna. You couldn't possibly be that slow. Elsa told me you had a tendency to hit your head several times a day, but it couldn't possibly have made that much of a damage."

"I'm not slow!"

She took my hand into hers. "Anna. Defending your husband is just one part of the deal. I understand. I really do. Mainly because I went through it. And because I can see how things might have changed. Yes, before both of you were so carefree. You could do all you wanted. There was pressure for you to marry, of course. And not only you sister's. The whole kingdom, albeit unknown to you, was expecting it. They all love Kristoff and want you to be happy." She gave my hands a squeeze. "And, of course, deep down, they all want something that you feel you are not ready for yet. They haven't really realized it, but I can see that you have. Elsa won't produce an heir."

I looked down. I don't know why I was so disappointed and relieved by it at the same time. Elsa would never marry. But she would never have kids. And surprisingly, I really wanted to see a little Elsa running around the castle. The thought always made my heart swell.

Rapunzel continued. "Sure she will carry on with her Queenly duties. And the people love her. She's kind and just. What's not to love? But one day she will be gone. And with no heirs, it will be up to you, Anna, to rule the kingdom and to leave heirs to rule after you're gone. Marrying Kristoff makes all of this official. You have to shoulder more responsibilities. It won't just be adventures with Sven and Olaf anymore. From this day on, you will have to take on a more active part."

"Yes..." I whispered. That terrified me. I don't know why I always thought that it would all go to Elsa. I never thought that, perhaps, the responsibilities might, one day, befall on me. She was the one that had ruling lessons. I was the one the skipped even basic maths lessons. She was the one that learnt how to be poised. I was the one that destroyed the entire castle, tripped over my own feet and talked to paintings.

But it had all been right in front of me. Elsa, the secluded. Elsa, the untouchable. Elsa, the Ice Queen. She never planned on marrying and having kids. She would do what she had to do, but, then, she would pass it all to me. She decided all of this by herself. She didn't tell my parents, she didn't tell me. Yes, there were signs, but it still took me by surprise. A little warning would have been nice! And now I was unprepared for anything.

"Oh Anna." Rapunzel pulled my hand to circle her waist and we hugged. I buried my head in the crook of her neck. "You don't have to be afraid. All will be fine. The most important thing about ruling is to be just and kind. And, have no doubt, that you are."

"But what about all the decision making and stuff?" My voice came out muffled and childish and Rapunzel let out a laugh.

"We have advisors for that." Patting my head, she let me go. "You needn't worry about it now, Anna. You can still go on adventures with Kristoff and Olaf and Sven. I might even join you!" She giggled. I wiped the small tears that had started to fall. "You just have to sneak in attending some meetings once in a while. Slowly you'll get the hang of it. Have no worries." She winked.

"Thank you, Punzel. You always know what to say." I gave her a little smile.

Then she seemed to remember something. "But you still haven't told me what's going on. You stopped on Elsa almost forcing you to marry." She smirked.

I sighed. She was like a dog with a bone. "Well, she insisted, but she's been even more distant. She didn't really help me with the preparations. I only asked her to be my maid of honor because I thought she'd be offended if I didn't ask and then lock herself inside her room once again!" There. I said it.

Rapunzel gave me a dirty look. "She wouldn't have done that, Anna! Don't you know you own sister?"

No! I wanted to yell at her face that I didn't know Elsa at all. We had been stranded for 13 years. How could I know anything about my sister? But I just remained in silence. How could Rapunzel know anything about Elsa anyway?

"She would have put on a brave face and swallowed her pride. But she'd have understood it in the end. Elsa is a very rational person, Anna. I don't think you realize that because you are the exact opposite. You feel before you think. Elsa has been trained to think before feeling. You know, all that 'conceal, don't feel' crap."

Ok, she might have had a point there.

"Anyway," I decided to divert the conversation back to where it was supposed to go. "She's been acting really weird. I think it's because she's afraid that me getting married will mean she'll lose me again. That I will only have eyes and time for Kristoff."

"Why would have she ran away from the speech, then?"

"I've actually been thinking about that-"

"Oh, no. You thinking is never a good idea." Punzel laughed and I slapped her arm. "Ok, sorry, sorry. What have you thought about it?" She said while rubbing her arm.

I started pacing again. "Well, when you make a speech, you are supposed to tell stories, right? To share a few special moments you have spent with the newlyweds. That's why Kristoff doesn't have a best man. Sven can't talk and the trolls have their own way of doing things. Anyway. I think it got too emotional for Elsa. I mean. Her memories of us together are the real ones. Any story she could have told tonight wouldn't really make sense to me. The trolls altered my memories. And that overwhelms her because it brings back all the memories. All the times I yelled at her door that I loved her and demanded to know what I did wrong that made her stop loving me. For her, I didn't really love her because I didn't really know her. The trolls made me forget about her powers."

I stopped and turned to look at Rapunzel. She had her thinking face on and I wasn't so sure she had heard me. "Punzel?" I waved a hand at her face.

She blinked. "Yeah, yeah. I was just thinking." She paused and really looked at me. "You might have a point there, but I don't think you are entirely right. More to entirely wrong."

Wait, what? "Wait, what?"

She sighed. "But it's really not my place to tell you Anna. You really have to talk to your sister. You and Elsa are the only ones who can sort this out."

"Oh, no no no no. You can't just tell me all the thinking I had been doing for hours is wrong and then not tell me why or what's the right reason. You have to tell me!"

"I can't, Anna. This is not my affair. I can't say anything for sure, but from what I've gathered I really believe you should talk to you sister." She grabbed my arms. "It will be hard. We both know how difficult Elsa can be, but you have to do it. You have to convince her to talk to you. Nice things never happen when Elsa is desperate."

That took me by surprise. I didn't think it was _that_ serious. "Wait. So you think there is something terribly wrong."

She squinted her eyes and stared at me. "Perhaps. Why did you put it this way?" She let go of me.

"About half an hour ago I met Olaf outside of the ballroom. I had just come back from looking for Elsa. He looked distraught. When I asked him what was wrong he told me he could feel something was terribly wrong. By what he told me, I presumed it had something to do with a prince. I asked him to find that prince so I could talk to him."

"Well, that might have been a waste of time." She pointed to something behind me and, turning around, I saw Olaf skipping across the room, smelling each and every flower. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll look personally for that prince later, then."

She actually laughed at that. "Oh, no, you won't." And at my confused face she added. "Newlywed, remember?"

What was she sayin- Oh! Kristoff. Yeah. That. Right. I blushed and looked down. Rapuzel just kept on laughing. Suddenly, I felt a light tap on my shoulder and I turned around to be faced with Gerda.

"Your Highness, I see that you've returned without the Queen." She looked me over. "And, if I may add, I little bit of a mess as well." I rolled my eyes at her. "What should we do about the feast and the toast?"

"Tell them to start sitting everyone and serving."

"And what about the speech?"

"Rapunzel will do it."

That got her to stop laughing and to suddenly tackle me to the ground. "Yes! I'll do it. I'll do it! And it will be the best speech ever!" We started giggling and laughing, while Gerda just suppressed a smile and rolled her eyes at our childish antics.


	11. Chapter 11

So, this chapter might seem a bit strange because of the POV. But, since it actually involves two characters that have their own POV, I thought that writing it in third person would suit the story needs better. Thoughts are in _italic_.

And although it may seems like the story is going frustratingly slowly, I'm actually trying to lay down some things before we start moving at a faster pace. This chapter may seem like it has no purpose at all, but it has. It will come in handy in the future.

The wedding will be over in a few chapters. I'm still stuck on the twelfth, but I have planned everything already. For those wondering about Elsa, she still has a chapter coming up. I know some of you read this only because of her, but she's part of the mystery, so I can't have her showing around all the time lol. But I can promise she'll appear more once the wedding is over.

Also, I was thinking about writing a new story following the songs that didn't make it into the movie. I'm obsessed with them and thought a really neat timeline and storyline. If you guys like the idea, I'll do it. And if I do, I won't stop this one and updates will still be on Thursday.

Anyway, as always, reviews and criticism are very much welcomed =)

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Chapter 11

Olaf knew he had something really important to do. And he had tried. But he had looked and looked for that Prince Ne and hadn't found him. To be honest, he had only looked for ten minutes until he saw a flower he hadn't smelled yet. And, just like that, his task was forgotten.

"Hey, Olaf. There you are, buddy. I've been looking for you." The little snowman was nose deep into a very beautiful gardenia on top of a table and that was how Kristoff found him. Though knowing how clumsy Olaf was, the blonde should have considered that approaching him without warning wouldn't have ended well.

Olaf turned around to face Kristoff, losing his footing in the process and falling down. He let out a little yelp and tried to get a grip on the table, only catching tablecloth though. So, when he fell, the whole table fell with him: silverware, table decorations, the cards with the names of the people that were supposed to seat there, jars of water... All in all, Olaf managed to make, in one second, a huge mess.

"Olaf, are you ok?" Kristoff sprung forward, removing everything that fell onto the snowman. He could hear a lot of grunting and, as he lifted a plate, he saw a part of a small body getting out and running away.

"Grab my butt! Grab my butt! Grab my butt!" Olaf's head yelled from underneath another plate. Startled, Kristoff let go of the one he had in his hands, letting it fall over the snowman's head. "Ooof!"

Crouching, the blonde started to run after the lower part of Olaf's body but the thing was very swiftly, going under tables. Kristoff slid underneath one and stretched his arm, trying to reach it, but, alas, for a few inches, his hand only grasped air. He grunted twice: once for not managing to grab it and a second time because he could feel and hear his pants ripping. He looked at his leg and saw that the cloth had gotten stuck on a piece of nail sticking out of the wood.

"Kristoff, are you alright? I managed to grab my butt!"

The ice harvest could hear another set of footprints. "Kristoff, what are you doing underneath the table?" Eugene asked.

"Help me, Eugene. I need to get out, but I'm afraid to move. My pant's ripped."

He could hear the other man laughing. "How did you manage to do that, Kristoff? Do you plan to be the Rag Prince?" Eugene continued laughing.

"Just help me out of here, Eugene!" Kristoff let his head bump on the floor, but lifted it again when he fell two hands pulling on his legs. "Wait, Eugene, don't pull m-" But it was too late. Eugene had pulled one last time, getting Kristoff from under the table. But in doing so, the nail finished ripping his pants also ripping a bit of skin. The blonde let out a yell, before covering his mouth with his hand.

Olaf came around the table and was the first to see the red on Kristoff's leg, although he didn't really understand what it was. "Kristoff, what happened to your pants? And what is that red paint?"

The blonde just laid there, clutching his leg and biting his lower lip to stop from whimpering in pain. Eugene actually took too long to realize what was wrong and, even then, he was too slow to react.

"Oh Gods, are you ok?" He crouched next to his friend, who just shook his head. "Hey, take your hands off. Let me see." When Kristoff just wouldn't move his hands, Eugene tried to pry them away from the former's leg.

"Eugene, what's wrong with Kristoff? Is that blood? Is he bleeding? What should we do? What should we do?" Olaf was swinging his arms desperately, walking left to right and right to left.

"Olaf, shut up. You'll attract too much attention." The snowman stopped for a while but when he caught a look at Kristoff's leg, he just held his head on his hands off his body. "Olaf, pay attention. Go get Kai."

But the little snowman just stood there, gasping at Kristoff's leg, now covered in blood. "Olaf, now!" Eugene yelled and that seemed to get through to the snowman, who, then, turned around and went to find the servant.

Eugene turned back to Kristoff. "Let me apply some pressure to your wound. No. Stop trying to put you hands there. You are not helping." Eugene slapped the blonde's hands. Kristoff hissed when the dark haired man applied pressure to the cut. "How did you manage to do this, Kristoff?"

The ice harvest grunted. "A nail snagged the cloth. Damn it."

Eugene snorted trying to over a laugh. "Well, stay sill for a little while, will you?" Kristoff just grunted and turned his head the other way.

Meanwhile, Olaf was rushing across the ballroom looking for Kai. The old servant was simply nowhere to be seen. Olaf rushed left; he rushed right. His head was spinning all around. _Kristoff is hurt. I need to get help. Oh look, there's Anna! She could help me! No, no. I can't go to her. She will throw a fit if she sees Kristoff's hurt. I need to find Kai. Kai, Kai, Kai, where are you? Where are you?_

The snowman was franticly looking for the servant, his body going in one direction and his head looking at another. He was so out of his wits that he didn't see the huge woman that appeared on his path. He only noticed her when his little body collided with her enormous one and he bounced, falling to the ground, his carrot nose thrown a few feet away.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, by the Gods, you again!" The woman shrieked and started jumping switching legs like she'd do if Olaf was a cockroach.

"Could you hand me my nose, please? It's just by your foot." The woman continued to switch feet. "Hey, watch out. Don't stomp on my nose!" Olaf stood up and went over to the woman to try and calm her down enough so he could get her nose. That woman was strange and his interaction earlier with her was enough for one day.

"Don't come any closer!"

"But I need my nose!"

She stopped moving and looked down. Sure enough, by her foot was a carrot. And sure enough snowmen had carrots for noses. If this strange creature was a snowman, then that would be his nose. She stood still, looking from the carrot to Olaf and from Olaf to the carrot. The snowman also stood still, afraid to move, lest he frighten her again. They stared at one another. Then, suddenly, he had a bright idea.

"I know why you are here." Her eyes grew large. "Step away from the carrot or I will tell Anna." She gulped, but she did kick the carrot towards him, before running towards the door, knocking a few people that were unfortunate to stand in her way.

_Phew, that was a close one. I couldn't live without my nose; my cute little nose, now could I? It's so cute and it allows me to smell the flowers. Oh, no. I could never part with you my little nose. Even if you are not that little. Anyway, that was some crazy woman. I had no idea what I was talking about hehehehe. Now, I was supposed to do something, what was it?_

Olaf just stood there, his fingers pressed to his mouth, humming while he thought. _Dang it. I'll have to retrace my steps. Now, what was the last thing I remember? mmmm Oh, yes. I was by the door and then I saw Anna coming. I should go there._

He turned his little body and started walking to the door, singing to himself. "I'm a snowman on a mission. But I don't know my mission. So I have to go back. Then I'll remember what mission was that! Hehehehehe."

"Oh, hey, Olaf. Off to one of your adventures, I see. Say, have you seen Princess Anna or Kristoff? Gerda and I are looking for them. We just can't postpone the feast anymore."

"Oh, hi, Kai! Yes, I'm off to an adventure! I just don't remember what I'm supposed to do." Olaf frowned. "Wait. Kai?"

"Yes, Olaf."

The little snowman shrieked. "I was supposed to find you! That's my mission!" And he grabbed the servant's hand, dragging him to the table where Eugene was still putting pressure on Kristoff's wound, while grumbling that Olaf was taking too damn much.

"Here, here. They're here. Eugene! I found Kai!"

"Your Highnesses, how can I help-" Kai stopped when he finally assessed the scene. "Oh, Gods. What happened? Are you hurt, Prince Kristoff? Is that blood? Oh, Gods. Let me take a look, Your Highness. Out of the way please."

The servant all but shoved Eugene aside and took a look at Kristoff's leg. He sighed in relief. "Oh good. It's nothing serious. Just a cut."

"Just a cut? But Kristoff was whining like he would lose his leg! It can't be just a cut."

Kai kept on examining the wound. "Well, it is. Although it bled a lot, it's a bit shallow. I just need to clean this off, patch it up a bit and give him a new pair of pants. Everything will be fine."

"But all that blood! Are you sure it was just a cut, Kai? Because it hurts like a bit-"

Kristoff was interrupted by Eugene's laughter. "Oh, Kristoff- hahaha you are such a hahahaha. Gods! You are such a wuss!" He was doubling over with laughter, holding his stomach and almost falling to his knees. Kai just turned around and smacked him on the head.

"Ouch! That hurt, Kai!"

The older man looked at him sternly. "You must behave, Your Highness. That was well deserved." Eugene mumbled something along the lines of _it wasn't_. "Now, come on. Help me carry Prince Kristoff to a private chamber so we can get this resolved. People are starving and restless. The wedding ceremony must continue. And you, Olaf, go tell Gerda what's happened."

"Yeeeees, sir!" He saluted and spun around, paddling towards the crowd. _Oh, look! I haven't smelled that flower yet!_

Both man positioned themselves on either side of Kristoff, grabbing him under his arms. The blonde hissed when they had him standing up and Eugene coughed _cofwusscof_. The former gave him a dirty look.

"Ok, now, follow my lead." And Kai started leading them towards a service door that, surely, would lead into the kitchens. A few servants were coming in and out of it, carrying trays with drinks and hors d'oeuvre.

"Mr. Kai" One of them stopped on his track and approached the group. "The guest are getting restless and the servants are wondering if they should start serving. I mean, some of the royals already are demanding food in a very rude manner and, if I may be honest sir-"

"No, you may not." The older man interrupted him. "Just shut up and go serve whatever it is that you are carrying on that tray. And if they are rude to you, ignore them. They are royals. Must of them are rude by nature. Now go!" Kai barked. "Stupid servants. Always thinking too much of themselves just because, apparently, is an honor to be close to royals. That's a result of that close gate policy King Garoar had. Now everyone wanted a piece, a glimpse of the royal sisters. Bunch of fools."

Eugene and Kristoff shared confused and disbelieving looks. Eugene hadn't really known Kai as Kristoff had but the older man didn't appear to be so grumpy. And the latter had never seen Kai like that.

"It's just the stress boys. This wedding has been crisis after crisis. I'm old and weary. I can't take much of this madness you know." He sighed.

They had reached the kitchens and a hot wave of air hit them. It was complete chaos: servants were bustling around non-stop, yelling at each other; there was too much food waiting to be served and little space so dished were stacked precariously on every hard surface there was; they could hear a louder yell and the sound of glass hitting the floor and breaking.

"Look what you've done! Someone clean this mess before someone sli-"

"Ooooooops, I'm going down!" More crashes and yelling and curses.

"Just ignore them. If Gerda isn't here for a mere second, chaos breaks loose. It's always the same. I'm just impressed they haven't managed to cut off someone's limbs yet." Kai sighed and guided them to a chair, covered with glasses full of champagne.

"You!" He called to a steward coming back in with an empty tray. The young man stopped in his tracks and looked at Kai. "Take these glasses and go back there." The man was obviously well trained. It didn't take him a moment of hesitation. As soon as the words left Kai's mouth, he was already moving, picking up the glasses and going back out, not saying a word.

"Now that's more like it." The older man muttered. "Here, sit down. I'll get everything we need to get you sorted." He helped the younger man to the chair and went away. Kristoff sighed and put his head in his hands while Eugene crouched beside the chair.

"Hey buddy" The dark haired man touched the blonde's knee. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." The words came out muffled.

Eugene rolled his eyes. "I can see you are not, Kristoff. Just talk to me. Besides, it's only fair, isn't it? You kinda owe me an explanation. We helped you entertain the people. Heck, we helped you make them love you! And Rapunzel and I will be staying here for a while. I don't want to be caught up in a mess I know nothing about."

Silence befell the two men and everything stood suspended. Even though they stood in the middle of the, possibly, loudest and busiest kitchen in the world (though they couldn't understand why everyone was so busy if no-one was eating yet), it felt like they were in a bubble.

All that Kristoff really wanted was to talk to someone. And who better than Eugene? He knew how things were. He was married to Rapunzel and his life had been as crazy as Kristoff's. On the other hand, he wasn't really related to the sisters and held no obligation to stand on their side. Or to tell them anything. Eugene was perfect.

_But I have lived all my life keeping things to myself. How do I even begin to explain what's going on? I don't even know what's going on!_

"I don't really know what's going on, Eugene. I don't even know how to explain."

"Just try. Start from the beginning. Elsa ran away. What's the real reason behind it?"

That took Kristoff by surprise and he looked up. Eugene just smirked. "Really? You thought that 'Elsa is not feeling well' excuse stuck?" The blonde rolled his eyes.

"Ok, I don't know why Elsa ran away."

"But you have a guess, don't you?"

Kristoff puffed. "Stop being creepy, Eugene, and pretending you know what's going on inside my head."

"Oh, come on, Kristoff! What can I do if I am" He used the smolder. "Awesome?"

The ice harvester hit him over the head. "Cut if off. That doesn't even work on Rapunzel. Why on earth would it work on me?"

The former thief caressed his head. "Relax, Kristoff. I was just goofing around. Gods know you people need a little bit of fun in your lifes. But go on, tell me what's really on your mind."

Kristoff sighed. "I don't know. It's all so strange. Anna runs hot and cold. Sometimes she appears to be so into this wedding. Then, the next moment, she leaves me to run after Elsa." Eugene gave him a look. "I know that they are sisters. And that they have been stranded for years. So I know that things are really weird and that all Anna wants is to have her sister back and connect with her. But I'm her husband! We just got married! Shouldn't she be giving me some attention?"

Eugene looked at the other man with gentle eyes. "Yes, she should. But she's the bride, Kristoff. And you know what? They get really crazy on weddings. Especially when something happens that could ruin their special day. Elsa is her maid of honor. She's ruining Anna's big day."

Kristoff scoffed. "That's just not it, Eugene. Yes, Anna has indeed worked really hard on this wedding. But I know her. I know she wanted to drown herself in it so she wouldn't have to think."

"Think about what?"

Kristoff carried on, seemingly ignoring the question. "I could see it in her eyes. That she felt the same way I did. She was scared. I was scared. I still am. Everything changes with this wedding. I'm a prince now. I'll have real responsibilities. When Elsa is busy, we will have to stand in her place. We. Besides, kids!" He threw his hands up in the air. "Can you imagine me having kids?"

"Can you imagine me, Kristoff?" Eugene said back. "You'll be ready when they come. You'll make a great father." They looked at each other. "Now, tell me what's _really_ bothering you."

"Urg, Eugene. You've been spending too much time with Rapunzel. You are becoming a dog with a bone, just like her!" The other man just carried on staring. "Ok! I'll tell you. There's something wrong going on. Something wrong going on between Elsa and Anna. I don't know what it is; I just know there's something wrong. And, somehow, it involves me. It's just not like Elsa to simply disappear when she's got a duty to attend to. She said that she'd be the maid of honor and that she'd make the speech. Normally, she would follow through. But, now, she just disappears. And you know she only goes away when she can't control herself and her powers. And that only happens when something is really wrong. I'm not blind or stupid, Eugene. I just can't figure out what is happening. And I dislike very much the idea of being thrown into a problematic situation I know nothing about!"

"Talk to Anna about it, then."

"I can't!" Kristoff said loudly. Realizing he was attracting the attention of the servants, he lowered his voice. "I don't think she realizes anything is wrong yet, Eugene."

"And you think it's ok to leave her in the dark?"

"It's not that. I'm afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Eugene shuffled closer. They were only whispering now.

"Afraid of ruining something. I don't know what. I just know that if I say something, something will break." He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened them again. "I just feel like everything is precariously balanced. Much like all of the dishes in this kitchen." He gestured around. "One wrong move and everything goes down."

"So, you're leaving Anna in the dark, then?"

"No. I'm giving her a moment to enjoy things as they are. Everything seems to be good, Eugene. She's blissfully ignorant. Let her enjoy it for a while. Because one day everything will come down."

"What if it's too late then?"

Kristoff looked at Eugene confused. "Too late for what?"

"To fix whatever is wrong."

The blonde looked away to the servants going in and out of the kitchen and remained silent. He knew what he could say next, but did he dare? Could he be that selfish? Could he acknowledge that yes, he could indeed be _that_ selfish? He sighed and looked back at the other man. _Where is Kai? I think I've had enough of this heart to heart_.

"I don't think there's a way to fix it."

"Every problem has a solution, Kristoff. If it doesn't, it isn't a problem."

The ice harvester looked away once again and saw that Kai had finally returned carrying some bandages, a bowl full of water and a pair of new pants draped over his left arm. But he still had time to whisper to himself, attempting to let it out of his chest while hoping Eugene wouldn't catch it.

"But what if the solution isn't good for _me_?"


	12. Chapter 12

I think I have each character at a different place of the castle. Let's get, at least, Anna and Kristoff together.

This is from Anna's POV (and, as I can hear the collective groan, I have to say the next one is from Elsa's).

A/N at the end.

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Chapter 12

Finally everything was getting back on track. Or as on track as it was going to get at least. I mean, Kristoff was limping and I didn't know why. And I was pretty sure those were new pants. When he came out of the kitchen with Eugene and Kai, I had raised my eyebrows and opened my mouth to ask him what had happened, but he just shook his head.

Now, we were all properly seated in our places. Well, almost everyone. Rapunzel and Eugene moved closer to me and Kristoff, seeing that Elsa wasn't there. My cousin actually had a huge grin on her face. I was starting to suspect she had wanted to by my maid of honor since the start. She looked at me and winked.

From the other side of the room, Gerda was finishing seating the last of the guests. Some royalty I didn't have the faintest idea who they were. When the small whitish man had finally seated, Gerda looked up at us and gave the signal. Rapunzel picked at her spoon and lightly hit her glass, not making any sound at all. Everyone just kept on ignoring her, talking their mouths off, while sneaking glances at our table. I was sure they were all commenting about how Elsa wasn't present. I could almost hear them speaking.

_"I'm sure the Queen isn't here because she doesn't approve of the wedding."_

_ "It should be Queen Elsa getting married to a highborn, not the spare Princess Anna getting married to a peasant."_

_ "Princess Anna should have been married to me, Prince of Somewhere Long Forgotten."_

_ "I'm only here for the food. Where is it?"_

Rapunzel frowned, bringing her eyebrows in confusion. She obviously was thinking how much force she could apply to the glass without breaking it. Sure enough, she started to hit it harder every time, but never hard enough. The talk continued and I had to hide my face behind my hands to cover my chuckling. Not even this would go right in my wedding.

She looked at Eugene, who mouthed _"Hit it harder, Punzel"_, gesturing with his wrist, showing her how to do it. She did the movement and I saw it all in slow motion. The spoon hit the border of the glass. I saw it reverberate. I saw a small hole appear. The cracks starting to spread. A second of suspension. And, then, the glass broke, small shards going everywhere. The champagne spilling over on Rapunzel. Her shriek of surprise. That got everyone's attention.

Everyone looked at her as she stood up to get away from the offending liquid. She looked back at them. Oh Gods, could this wedding become even more of a joke? I was just about to let my head fall and bang on the table when Rapunzel started laughing.

"Do you guys have any idea of how many times I've seen Anna do something similar?" Silence. She scoffed. "Come on, people. It's her wedding. I'm making the speech because obviously, and with no offense, Elsa could never pull off doing something like Anna. She's too much of a proper lady, now isn't she?" She giggled and mouthed _"proper"_ to herself. "She is so proper and nice that once she heard there was a fire outbreak and that there kids involved, she ran to help. I could only understand a few words as she ran off." She motioned her forearms left to right, indicating the movement of Elsa moving." I could only understand that there was a kid's play. That they were putting this spring pageant again. That there was a fire only she could put out. You know, with her powers. _Soosh_." She did swirling motions with her hands. "So, now I'm here."

I refrained from putting my head back on my hands. That was one of the lamest excuse I had ever heard. How could people believe that? Surely they wouldn't, right? But when I looked at everyone, they all had that sympathetic face and I couldn't believe it. I had always heard Corona servants saying that Rapunzel had some kind of a power. If Elsa had ice powers, Rapunzel could charm everyone. She had, after all, convinced a bunch of bad guys to help her get back to her castle to see _floating lights_.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. That was how a royal, a princess was supposed to be. They should be able to move the masses, to touch hearts and conquer spirits. One smile from Rapunzel had everyone on their knees. One look from Elsa had everyone rushing to do her bid. One look from me and I got a pat on the head. I crossed my arms and huffed in indignation.

"The truth is" My cousin carried on. "I don't really know Anna that long. Even though we were cousins, I was a lost princess locked away in a tower and she was a caged princess, locked inside the keep. Although we were separate for so long, it's amazing how we cultivated a few of the same quirks and traits. Much like the knack of knocking down things." She pointed at the fallen glass and giggled. "We both had really close relationships with paintings." Oh, no. Can someone kill me? Please Rapunzel, don't spread the whole 'Joan of Arc story'. No. "She used to talk to paintings. I used to draw them. Actually, I talked to them too. Apart from Pascal, they were the only company I had. But, from what I hear of the servants, Anna had much more interesting conversations with them."

She paused and I supposed it was to let everyone think about what I talked to the paintings. I could see Gerda lower her head. The servants and the Arendelle folk all knew. They all had gossiped about it. About a little girl, who turned into a young woman, that talked about her anguishes to a painting. _Why didn't Elsa want to talk to me? Why does she hide all day in her room? Why don't I have any friends? What is wrong with me?_

Rapunzel took a deep breath. "The truth is, every time I look at Anna, it's like looking in a mirror. But not an ordinary mirror. No." She shook her head. "When I look at her, I see someone I inspire to be." What? I snapped my head so fast towards her I actually hurt my neck.

"What do I know of life? Only what I've read in books. And let me tell you. I spent many years reading the same books over and over. Was there diversity in that tower? Not really. When I got back to Corona and saw the library, my head just exploded. But they were only books. What could books really teach me? I had never known I had a people to be a part of. To look after." She paused.

"My parents never came to Arendelle. Years of looking for their lost daughter took their toll on them. And my mother could never stand the journey on a ship." She looked at me with sad eyes and I felt some tears coming to my eyes. It was no wonder my aunt couldn't bear to see a ship. I had trouble with them as well. Elsa always froze a bit of the floorboard whenever she went to the port. I really wished mother could be here now: gently wiping at her eyes, heart swelling with pride in seeing her clumsy daughter getting married. Father would probably put a brave face on and pretend that he didn't like Kristoff, but silently pleased that my choice of husband wouldn't mean me leaving Arendelle. He would huff and puff with a small smile forming on the corner of his mouth. I gave Rapunzel a sad smile and she turned back to the crowd.

"But I have come to Arendelle many times. And every time I would go back, they would ask me about Anna and Elsa. I could never quench my mother's curiosity about Anna. Elsa is easy to describe since both her and my mother are so similar, but Anna... Mother would ask and ask and ask and all I could tell her was that Anna was... Anna. Simply Anna. You would have to look and get to know her to see it. Probably most of you" She gestured to the guests" don't have the faintest idea of what I am talking about. But I assure you that the people of Arendelle know."

Some mumbling could be heard across the room. My cousin turned to me once again with questioning eyes. I could only smirk and she smirked back. Since Elsa's coronation and all that happened with Hans, I had become distrustful of royals. I didn't want to be surrounded by the lot of them. I didn't know them; they didn't know me and I had no wish to change that situation. At least not for now. Let Elsa deal with them by herself for a while longer. So, I had asked Gerda to spread the word that there was going to be a huge feast at the wedding and that there wasn't going to be many guards and the gates. Perhaps it wouldn't be that hard to sneak in. I couldn't openly invite them, lest risk angering all those snooty royals, but I couldn't really stop them from sneaking in, now could I? They were my people. They were the only people I knew for years. They were the ones that were actually happy for me. I wanted them here, not some unknown prince that hated Kristoff for taking his opportunity at courtship.

Turning back to the guests, Rapunzel carried on. "Yes." Her eyes were shining. "How many of you had seen Anna falling on her behind?" She giggled and a few hands were raised. As I heard a few gaps of shock, I wanted to hide under the table. Couldn't we go back to talking about how I was simply Anna? "How many of you actually had your shops destroyed by hurricane Anna?" More hands were raised. Oh Gods.

"The first time I came to Arendelle, Elsa had transformed the inner patio into an ice rink. One would think that living in a kingdom in the north, Anna would know how to skate." She snorted. "It never snows in Corona, but I could skate better than her. And she actually managed to fall and knock all those vases down. One by one they fell like dominos until all the rink was covered in flowers. Needless to say that made Olaf day." She laughed and the snowman sighed dreamingly. "And you know what was the best part? She laughed. She just laughed. And went about helping the servants clean up the mess. And every once in a while, she would laugh again and the servants would laugh with her. Not at her." Her laughter subsided to a tender smile.

"And that's what everyone should aspire to be. A ruler that is part of the kingdom first and foremost. That doesn't consider her blood to be a distinguishing factor, rather than a duty. Anna never needed to be taught, much like Elsa and I were, how to rule. It's a part of her. Something she cannot contain. And some of you must be wondering why I'm talking about Anna ruling if she's the youngest. That would make her the spare, wouldn't it?" I flinched. That still was a sore spot in my heart and soul. I had grown up thinking I was a screw-up; an undesirable spare; destined not be anything other than that. "But she isn't. And she'd never be. No matter how many times the circumstances tried to embed that in her spirit."

I was crying freely now. At least I wasn't bawling. I managed to keep that little of dignity intact. Or so I thought. Kristoff had stopped paying close attention to Rapunzel and fixed his eyes on me. I could tell he was unsure of what to do and was weighting his options. Should he hug me? Should he tell me comforting words? Should he give me a small kiss on the top of my head? Should he take my hand in his? Should he even touch me at all?

I couldn't look at him. I didn't have the answers to those questions. I didn't know what he could do to make me feel better. I didn't even know what I was feeling! I just knew the wedding was starting to come down on me. Really come down. There was a havoc of emotions inside of me and I was left confused in the middle of the storm, much like I did when I first went to Elsa's ice castle and she froze my heart. But my heart wasn't frozen now. It was overwhelmed, crushed by unidentified emotions. It felt like it could burst out of my chest any minute and I could hear its beating reverberating through my bones. Following closely the beat, a heat spread over my body, taking control of me, making the tears come out strongly and hotter.

At last, my husband decided what he should do. Or Eugene decided for him. I could see the latter surreptitiously handing Kristoff a handkerchief. It took a while for him to catch on, but then I could see him remembering that Eugene and Rapunzel were much more aware of what was happening than we ourselves were.

The way he handed me the handkerchief told me all I needed to know right now: that we were still getting to know each other; that we still didn't have that complicity and intimacy Eugene and Rapunzel had; and that it would be a hard road ahead, but he wouldn't give up on trying. He would make all the effort necessary to make this work because he loved me. And although we still didn't have that deep connection married couples had and he couldn't understand me completely, he understood me in some level. So, yes, he was hurt by my leaving to find Elsa, but he understood and he let it go. That was too much for me to ask of him, but he did it anyway and though I thought I couldn't love him more, I found that I could indeed. I could sense our love beginning to transform into something else. Something that I could rely upon. He was my good man in a storm.

So I decided that him handing me the handkerchief wasn't enough and I sneaked my arm across of him and grabbed his hand that was father away from me while leaning in and resting my head on his shoulder. It took him a second, slow as he always was, but then I felt his hand squeezing my own and his arm draping over my shoulder. I sighed contently and whispered so he was the only one that would hear. "My husband."

"My wife." He whispered back and kissed the top of my head. That was enough. That was our _I love you_.

I focused back on Rapunzel as she continued her speech. "It wouldn't even matter if Anna was not royalty. It wouldn't make a difference if she weren't a princess. Because every once in a while, the world is blessed with the existence of selfless loving people. People that are genuinely good. How many of you had seen Anna helping some poor unfortunate soul or has been helped by her?"

I was sincerely impressed by the number of hands that were raised. I hadn't realized that I had helped so many people. Sure, I always cleaned after the messes my clumsiness made and I couldn't stand to see people in need. But it still took me as a surprise that I was so useful to the community. Kristoff gave my shoulder a little squeeze, but huffed, whispering that I hadn't helped him at all seeing that I had destroyed his sled the first time we met. At that I mumbled that I had made a prince out of him. That got him quiet.

"Not much of a spare, now, is she? Of course Elsa makes the big decisions with the other royals concerning what to import and export and for and to whom. But Anna is really the one that tends to the everyday needs of the people. That smiles to the kids she passes on the streets as she wanders around. That chases pigs that have escaped from their owners. Oh yes, Anna" She winked at me" I had the pleasure of hearing that story." I groaned. "I can't even imagine how many dresses and shoes you must have had ruined over the years. I reckon the shoemakers and the seamstress owe you all their business." People laughed. I laughed. I had ruined many dresses and shoes indeed. I had even ruined Elsa's as well whenever I urgently needed a dress or a shoe and there wasn't time to make them.

"So, Arendelle, I must admit that I'm envious of you. You get to have my lovely cousin everyday in all her messy hair glory; in all of her clumsy destruction; and in all of her loving and caring nature. But, right now, I suppose the person we are most envious of is the gorgeous man that snatched her, I mean" She coughed. "Married her today. Kristoff." He bowed her head in acknowledgement and I could see the huge grin that was plastered on his face.

"And I think that's enough, yes? Let me check. I made fun of her. I told embarrassing stories. I said good things about her. I congratulated the husband. Anything missing?" She turned to Eugene, who shook his head. "Shall we eat then?" An approving chorus swept the room and people started to get ready to fill their empty stomach when Rapunzel raised her hand and asked for attention once more. She let a few seconds hang in silence and then started again in a lower voice.

"I once had a dream. And that dream was fairly simple really: I just wanted to see the floating lanterns gleam. Well, simple in theory because, in reality, that was a very hard and complicated endeavor. But I managed. And my dream changed. My new dream became Eugene and I became his. We filled the empty holes in each other's lifes and gave them more meaning. We wouldn't be here without the other. We fight, we argue and we make up. That's marriage. That's love. He is my dream and I am his. And that's what I wish for the newlyweds. That you be each other's dreams." She stepped away from her chair and walked the couple of steps towards me and Kristoff, grabbing our joined hands and raising them. She looked me straight in the eye and carried on. "Because, my dear cousin, there's no better feeling in the world than waking up and seeing him by your side. He's your dream, but, more importantly, he's your dream _come true_. Because he's flawed and he's real. Because he snores like a bull and snatches all the covers and kicks you all night so much he won't stop moving. But he is real. He's really there. So, when you wake up tomorrow morning, or afternoon" She giggled. "I wish for you to feel like the world had stopped. Like the only people that exist are the two of you. That's what I know to be happiness. And that's what I wish for you."

When she finally finished and leaned down to kiss both Kristoff and I on our cheeks, I had to make an enormous effort not to let out embarrassing sounds. Rapunzel had reduced me to a pile of scattered feelings. I couldn't speak. I didn't even want to eat anymore. I was utterly overwhelmed, so I buried myself deeper into Kristoff's chest in hopes that, much like an ostrich, I would disappear if I couldn't see anyone anymore.

I heard Rapunzel's steps going away and felt Kritoff's hand massaging my head. "Do you think you'll come out of hiding anytime soon? I'm starving."

I mumbled my answer into his shirt and felt his laughter through his chest. "What was that, wife? You have to speak properly. No mumblings in front of the prince."

Though I knew he was trying to cheer me up, his antics weren't working. I felt like being alone, crying or just staring at a blank space on the wall. But since I couldn't just leave, I let go of his hand and forcefully grabbed his jacket with both my hands, the tear flow heavier. I could tell by the way he shifted in response to my actions that he realized something was wrong. He huddled over me and placed his mouth next to me ear. He sheltered me from everyone else. From the world. From everything. But he still couldn't shelter me from my weary heart.

"Hey, feisty pants, what's wrong?" He rubbed my back. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. I focused on the movements of his hands. They were actually quite soothing.

"I don't know."

He took his time deciding what to answer. He wasn't apt to deal with this sort of situation. I don't think any man is. But he was my husband and he would damn well do his best to fix whatever it was wrong.

"Do you remember the time we went to the trolls so they could tell us how to thaw your frozen heart and they ended up marrying us?" I didn't know where he was going with this, but I nodded anyway. How could I forget? It still haunted me that even though the trolls had shoved us at one another, I still went to Hans. Every chance I have, I go away from him. I went to Hans for a true love's kiss; I stepped in front of his sword to save Elsa instead of hurrying to Kristoff; I ran away from my own wedding to see what was wrong with Elsa.

"Whenever I think about it, the more I realize that it was in that moment that I fell completely in love with you. So, in away, I was always married to you. Ever since that moment. Well, mmm even though you hadn't technically accepted to marrying me... You know what I mean. My heart has always been yours. And although, at the time, you thought Hans was your true love, I knew you were mine."

I awkwardly moved my head in order to be able to look at him. "But you took me to Hans anyway."

He nodded. "Sometimes, when you love someone very much, you need to know when to let them go. You put their happiness in front of yours. Regardless, that was a life or death scenario. I wouldn't let you die just because you kissing him would break my heart."

"Why are you talking about that? We just got married and you are talking about letting me go?"

He shook his head and hugged me tighter. "No. I'm saying that I'll never let you go now. Not unless you want me to. I will support whatever you want to do. I don't care that you leave me to go after your sister. As long as you come back to me."

We stared at each other as I let the implications of what he was saying wash over me. I could hear the clatter of plates, the low murmur of voices. I could feel the warm air. I could feel his slow breath on my face, his heart beating against my chest. I could see the expectancy in his eyes.

"I will always come back to you, Kristoff. You are my husband." I freed my arms and caressed his face. "I'm just a silly girl full of doubts. Really. But the only certainty I have in this world is that I love you."

He gave me a sad smile. I knew what he was thinking. Rapunzel's words, unbeknownst to her, fell heavy upon us. Neither of us had any doubts that, come tomorrow morning, Kristoff would wake up and look me at and see his dream. His dream come true. But would I? Had my actions proved, in any way, that I would? I understood his doubts. I was afraid of them myself.

I shifted and pressed my forehead to his. I was slowly coming out of the cocoon that was his embrace. "Let us worry about tomorrow tomorrow. It's our wedding and we should celebrate. Also, I can see in the corner of my eye that Rapunzel and Eugene are looking at us."

I started moving to seat upright in my seat and force myself to eat, but Kristoff was quicker and grabbed my face, guiding our lips to one another. It was chaste and pure and innocent, but it spoke louder and more effectively than anything he could have said. He had always expressed himself better through ways other than words.

The kiss didn't speak of passion and adventure and strong, uncontrollable emotions. It didn't speak of a love that burned hearts to ashes. It didn't speak of a devastating storm that left unrepairable souls in its wake. It spoke of a reliable man, a loving husband and a kind father. It spoke of a calm and stable future. A life in which he would always support me. That was what he was offering me as his real vows. Not the ones Elsa had written for him, which had plenty of passion in paper, but lacked it out loud. And that was what I was happily accepting. I was taking more than I was giving, I knew. But, in that moment, I made myself a promise; that I would give this man everything I had to offer.

When we parted, he still had his eyes closed when he whispered. "My wife." And I still had my heart and head full when I whispered back. "My husband."

That was when I really became a married woman.

* * *

The rest of the evening went smoothly. The dishes were served, but I barely ate. Kristoff ate like a man that had been on a deserted island for a week. I barely talked, not really paying that much attention to what was happening around me, staring at my half full plate. I could sense Rapunzel staring at me, but I didn't want to talk to her.

She had been right. It had been the best speech ever. Though it wasn't much of a surprise really. It was part of Rapunzel's powers. Nevertheless, she had stirred in me something that I would have rather be left forgotten. Something that, after the promise I made to myself, I would need to leave buried deep inside of me. Funny how now it had to be me the one to conceal and don't feel. Conceal and don't feel what I didn't know. But if there was something that I had learned throughout the years is that life goes on. Decisions are made, repercussions follow through and if you're not ready, they will crush you. I was a married woman. I would be a married woman.

"Anna?" I felt Rapunzel's hand in my arm and almost jumped in surprise.

"Gods, Rapunzel, why did you scare me like that? Do you want to kill me without spending even a day married?"

"Oh, no. Believe me when I say I wouldn't want to kill you at least until tomorrow. No-one should die before their nuptials." She winked at me and I blushed, looking down. When she spoke again, her voice was somber. "But I had been calling you for a while now. Where did you thoughts take you?"

I sighed. There was no telling lies to her. Human lie detector. "I don't really want to talk about it now, Rapunzel. Perhaps another day."

She tightened her grip on my arm and I could hear the worry in her voice. "Didn't you like the speech? Was it something that I said? If it was, oh, Anna, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I just thought you would like it. I mostly just winged it. I mean, I had no time to prepare, since you just sprung that on me, but I though it came out so beautifully and-" I looked up at her, a small smile tucking at the corner of my mouth. Rambling was yet another quirk we shared and now I could see how amusing (and ridiculous) I must sound when I do it. "What?"

"Nothing." I tapped her hand that was gripping a little bit too tightly my arm, indicating that she should stop it. "It was a beautiful speech, Punzel. It really was. Thank you." I leaned in her direction and hugged her. We stayed still for a few seconds just enjoying the comfort that a familiar touch can bring. "It has nothing to do with it. I'll tell you some other day, ok? Just let me be for a little while."

She let go of me, but still kept my shoulders in her grasp. "Just try to look a little bit more alive, will you? You look like you've just arrived from a funeral. Ordinarily, that's the husband's expression. Not that Kristoff has any reason to be gloom." She looked at him and frowned. "But you might have a reason to be gloom later. He's eating way too much, isn't him? That can't be good at this time of night."

I turned to look at him myself and smiled fondly. Trust Kristoff to try every dish at least three times. There was this one time I asked him how he could eat so much and stay so fit all the time. I wondered if it had anything to do with harvesting ice. It had, he told me. But, also, being an orphan kid up in the mountains, being raised by trolls meant he didn't always have something to eat. I remember that my heart clenched imagining little Kristoff and little Sven in the woods, cold and hungry. Then Olaf asked if the trolls ate rocks and if they tasted good and all was back to laughs. But ever since that day, from time to time, I would stop and watch him eat. And I would thank the Gods that now I had him and I could offer him any food he wanted. I would probably be one of those wifes that aren't happy until their husbands are as big as whales.

"Let him eat, Punzel."

"_You_ should be the one devouring something, Anna. You've barely touched your food." She turned back to me, a scolding look on her face.

"It's ok, I'm not hungry."

"Nonsense." She sat me down forcefully, pulled a vacant chair nearby and seated beside me. I watched in horror as she lifted the spoon and guided it towards my mouth. She was feeding me! Like I was a baby!

I shoved her hand aside. "Ok, ok, I'll eat. Just cut it out. I'm not some helpless child."

She rolled her eyes at me and opened her mouth probably to say that I was indeed a helpless child, but Eugene was calling her. Thank the Gods for that man. She turned back to me one more time and gave me a final order before standing up and going to her husband. "Eat."

I begrudgingly picked up the spoon and pretended to eat a bit of my salmon and mashed potatoes. But I really wasn't hungry. My stomach actually complained about the food I had previously ingested. I was way too nervous and aggravated now. Yes, I would be the best wife there has ever been. But that meant I had to pass the nuptials. It wasn't like Kristoff and I hadn't fumbled before. We had. Plenty. And it wasn't like I hadn't joked about it. I had. Plenty. But we had never gone that far or even close. I had never really been that curious to see what was hidden away beneath Kristoff's breaches...

There was a pat on my shoulder and I turned around to be faced by Elina. She smiled her pretty white smile and I wondered if she had ever been curious to see what lay beneath a man's breaches. "Gerda asked me to tell you that is time to cut the cake."

"Oh, ok." I stood up. "Let's do it." She laughed. "What?"

"Well, you look like you are dying to do it. Like you can hardly wait." I blushed, not really noticing her sarcasm. How could she know I had been thinking about it?

"Well, it's an important moment, isn't it?"

"Sure is." She agreed.

"I just... I don't really know how to proceed..." I didn't really know what I was saying. She liked girls. I had to remember she liked girls. And, yet, that little piece of information made me want to ask her even more questions.

"Well, I've never done it. But I've been told you have to cut it, bottom to top." She gestured with her hands. Wait. Cut? Cut _what_?

"Wait wait. What do you mean by 'cut'? I didn't know there was cutting involved. What exactly should I cut? I don't want to cut anything, Elina!"

She looked at me confused like she had no idea what I was talking about. _I _didn't have any idea what I was talking about. "What?"

"What on earth are you talking about, Anna?" She squinted her eyes.

"Well, I... You know. Do it. Like. Well." I coughed. "You know, later. Something I supposedly can't hardly wait. Well, I was not thinking about it. I don't know. I-" Her eyebrows shot to her hairline as she realized what I was talking about and she made a disgusted face.

"Ew ew ew ew. You thought I was talking about" She lowered her voice to barely a whisper. "you and Kristoff doing it? Ew! No. I don't even want to think about it. If it involves man parts, I'm out!"

We just stood there awkwardly. Oh Gods, what was wrong with me? Why did my mind have to go straight to the gutter? I wasn't a hormonal boy! I was a married woman. A recently married woman that would have to fulfill her duties very soon. Oh Gods... I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"So, um, should you go cut the _cake_?"

"Yes, yes. Let's go." I turned to Kristoff to see him with his hand midair, holding a chicken leg, and called him. "Husband. Time to cut the cake!"

His head snapped towards me. "Hm? Did you say cake?"

I snorted. "Yes, Kristoff. Cake. We have to cut it." And then this whole wedding shenanigan will be over.

He hurriedly stood up; napkin still tucked in his collar and grabbed my hand almost dragging me towards the huge setting that was being moved from the secluded spot it had been to the center of the room. It wasn't an enormous cake, but it was as impressive as it would have been if it were seven feet tall. Elsa had made the frosting herself and sprinkled it with carefully carved ice toppings in the shapes of snowflakes, little reindeers and snowmen. The result couldn't be more beautiful. The sight of it actually calmed my heart a bit. If my sister couldn't be present physically, at least the work she had put into it made her presence be felt.

As we neared the table, I tucked on Kristoff's hand, stopping him in his tracks. He turned at me confused and I smiled, taking the napkin off his collar. He smiled sheepishly, like a kid caught doing something adorably wrong. I stood on the tip of my toes and kissed his cheek. As my lips made contact with his skin, I suddenly felt a rush, a heat wave that spread from my toes to my head and I couldn't wait to find the answer to my earlier wonderings. So, I let my face go up a few inches so I could whisper into his ear.

"_My man_. _Mine_."

I felt him shiver and his grip on my hand tighten. After that, everything became a blur. I don't even remember eating the cake or people congratulating us as we finally took our deserved leave of all those snooty royals. And although I remember everything from the point Kristoff carried me through the threshold until the moment we felt asleep, the memory that I more carefully keep inside my heart was of him looking down at me. His brown eyes, almost black, but still so warm and full of love. I had unconsciously been terrified of that moment, but then I understood that it didn't really matter. All that mattered was that he loved me and I loved him. Our bodies would find themselves at some point. They would find that fine-tuning that meant we were in sync. They would become one; his body mine and my body, his. Because our hearts and souls were already one.

And yet, as we fell asleep, a tangle of arms and legs, my last thoughts that night weren't of my husband. They were about my sister. They were of Elsa.

* * *

Ok. This chapter was a struggle. First writing Rapunzel's speech. It was really hard. I'm usually very good with speeches and texts that are meant to carry a little bit of weight. But this speech was tough. I must have written and rewritten it at least 20 times. Because it may look simple, but it's hard. You have to get into that state of mind in which you celebrate the story between two characters that, first, are not yours and, second, have not spent that much time together. And that speech was not my telling a story or describing emotions. It was Rapunzel celebrating Anna and her marriage. It was exhausting.

And then I decided to merge chapters 12 and 14, so I could end this wedding sooner. I can't stand it anymore lol. So, next chapter is Elsa's and the wedding is officially over.

Now, I don't write smut. I had thought of making the scene between Kristoff and Anna on their nuptials. But since I did that dialog after the speech, the whole scene was moot point. Because that was all there was going to be. I may, later, do something better about it. Like Rapunzel and Anna talking. You just know Rapunzel is dying to gossip, right? lol. But, don't expect much. As I said, I don't write smut.

Anyway, I'm sorry if the ending reads a bit rushed. As I tried to merge the chapters I found out that I really don't have the ability to write chapters that long. I kept wanting to cut but couldn't find the spot. Anyway, Elsa's chapter will be very good. I promise ;)

All spelling mistakes are mine, as I'm posting this in a rush because I have to study for school, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging. As always, reviews and criticism are much welcomed.


	13. Chapter 13

Someone asked if I really thought of writing smut between Anna and Kristoff and the answer is a very loud NO. Haha. I actually was talking about them talking in the bedroom. But only that. _Talking_. No frick fracking. Anyway. This is the last chapter about the wedding. And concerning to when Elsanna will happen, I can only say that will take a little while. I have a few things planned before it so bear with me. It will come.

Oh, boy. I have just finished writing this. I started last night and wrote during free period at school after the exam. And some more when I got back home. I'm quickly checking it for mistakes, but many might slip past me. Anyway. Hope you guys enjoy it. Elsa is finally here and next chapter will probably be her again.

Review and criticism, as always, are welcomed.

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Chapter 13

I didn't know how long we stayed there, on the floor, holding tight to one another. At first, I could feel him shivering since my powers were still out of my control, but he remained stoic, with his arms around me, caressing my back and hair. And, slowly, the shivering stopped, his breathing got in and out more fluidly and his body seemed to mold more properly into mine. His warm bubble had defeated my ice and his body felt so soft and warm I could have stayed there forever.

But, alas, I could only think of Anna. Did Anna feel like this with Hans? So desperate to be loved that she would gladly accept it from anyone? I sighed. I couldn't let my emotional turmoil get the best of me. That wasn't me. That was Anna. I was the rational thinker. Who was this man? Where had he come from?

I started to move a little, lifting my head, trying to disentangle myself from him. He felt my motion and loosened his grasp, looking down at me. His eyes were of the richest green I had seen, so similar to Anna's. If I actually looked only at his eyes, I could fool myself enough to believe they were hers, so much they shone with seemingly genuine concern.

Time stood still and we just kept on looking at each other. I reckon he was trying to decipher what was going on inside my head. Trying to determine if it was safe to let me go or if I was going to freeze him again. I still didn't know what had come over me. I had always been assertive in my commands. I was a Queen after all. But I had never gone as far as freezing someone intentionally. I had to be more careful. I couldn't slip up like that. My powers were dangerous. They were a curse; a part of a monster.

"You are not a monster." His voice startled me. How did he know what I was thinking? I frowned at him and he shrugged. "You have a tell."

"I have a what?"

He chuckled and moved his hand from my hair to my face. He started gently tracing my cheek and slowly moved up to my forehead and my brow. "Every time you think you are a monster, your eyes became a blue so icy, they could freeze a volcano. Your forehead creases and your cheeks become red with anger with yourself." As he mentioned each part of my face, his hand would move and caress it. "And you lips" he looked at them and leaned a little bit. "You bite your lower lip so hard you draw blood." I unconsciously licked it, my tongue swiping from left to right. Sure enough there were some holes in the shape of my teeth. His eyes darkened a bit and he leaned in a little closer. My heart started beating maniacally inside my chest. He couldn't kiss me. I didn't want him to kiss me, but all my brain could think about in that moment was of him kissing me. Of his warm lips on my cold ones. My body hummed in anticipation and my heart pumped blood full of hormones. My body had betrayed me and desperation took over my soul. I wouldn't kiss him.

It all happened in slow motion. He leaned in; I closed my eyes not knowing if in anticipation or fear. I could feel his breath mingling with mine and reaching my face. I thought he would kiss me in the next moment, but I didn't feel the expected pressure on my lips. Nothing happened. And I waited and waited until I felt his breath shift to my ear. "You are not a monster, Elsa. Please believe me." He whispered before moving back and kissing me on the cheek. And, then, everything was over. His face moved away from mine, but my eyes remained closed, my heartbeat slowly going back to normal. When my heart finally felt like it wasn't going to burst out of my ribcage, I opened my eyes. He was staring at me. I tried to speak, but my voice came out hoarse and I coughed.

"It still doesn't explain it. Why would these signs give away what I'm thinking?"

He smiled. "I have a talent at reading people." I kept staring at him, ordering him to carry on. His smile died and his face became somber. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I narrowed my eyes, but he just shook his head. "You can't really ask me to believe you and to trust you if I don't know you. I think it's perfectly normal for me to want to make sure you are not a charlatan. Or just some greedy and ignoble prince after my title."

He scoffed and looked at me sternly. "You think I'm like that Prince Hans that conned your sister?" He let out a dry laugh. "Rest you fears, my Queen. I set no eyes upon your throne."

"Then what do you want?"

He sighed and let me go before standing up and offering his hand to help me. Surprisingly, I missed the warmth his body provided me. It inexplicably kept my powers at bay and kept me grounded, focused. I kept looking up at him, though, in defiance, refusing to take his hand. He rolled his eyes. "Why must I want anything?"

Gods, this was going nowhere and the frustration was starting to spread, making my body move on its on. I took his hand and stood up, not letting it go. My hands slowly started to get colder. "You don't know me. And nobody does anything for strangers for free."

He looked at his hand. "So distrustful. Though I can't really expect anything more from a person that was locked away by her own parents."

I froze his fingertips. A small warning. "You won't say anything about my parents."

He nodded. "I wasn't. I was just saying that I see why you'd be a distrustful person. But can't I just be a person that has a good heart?"

I laughed. "The world wouldn't be blessed with more than a person like that and we already have my sister." Anna was probably the most selfless person to have ever lived. She might have taken after Joan, in the end. I still had some trouble acknowledging that she jumped in front of a sword to save me. And simply because she loved me. It wasn't fair really. She had all of these pure feelings deep inside of her. Feelings of sisterly love that went beyond anything humanly conceived. And here I was, feeling towards her something that was so wrong, so defiling that made me believe I should have died at Hans' sword that day. I was a monster whilst she was an angel.

His other hand suddenly grasped our joined hand, bringing me to reality. "You are not a monster, Elsa. I know it because my mother-" he started, before closing his eyes and gulping. He took a deep breath and opened them again, his green eyes carrying a pain that hadn't been there before. "My mother was a very kind woman, Elsa. She was. She would take me for walks in the beach. We have lovely beaches in Elgisay, you know. The ocean is of the richest blue. Not like the blue you have here that derives from ice. Our blue is of such a warm color you wouldn't ever have been able to freeze anything." He looked away a bit dreamingly.

"We would have picnics and laugh and play in the sand. You used to build snowmen; we built sandcastles. She was both a mother and a father for my brothers and me. My father died when I was little. Poisoning. She was enough, though and we didn't care for a thing. But one day she suddenly became someone else. Long gone was the loving woman. She became ruthless, cold and distant. My brothers and I couldn't remain in her presence for too long, as she would tear us down. Criticized every little thing we did. We didn't even breathe right, according to her. She started to mistreat the servants she had welcomed in her castle like family years prior. Her judgments weren't fair or just. People became scared of her. We couldn't stand it; we drifted apart. My brothers married and went away. I was the only one that remained. She would lash out and I would take it."

"What happened to her?" I asked in a very low voice.

He gave me a pained smile. "What happens to all of us. Time and age. She started to forget. Memories slipped away. She no longer can tell if she is in the now or in the past. She will talk to me as if I am my father. She will forget what day it is and think she is still a young girl in love. When it started, we managed to put together the few pieces of the puzzle that was her life. They came in no order and didn't make much sense, but we managed." He gave a small pause, collecting his thoughts. "She wasn't always a royal. My dad was. And when he died, she had to fight tooth and nail to remain on the throne, but she did it. It was a tough and vicious political battle with my uncle, but she did it. She did it for us. My uncle wasn't a very nice man; resentful of my father just because he was older. He'd do anything to have the power to himself. Even kill his own brother and nephews. But she did it. Even if it was at the cost of her own happiness. She was very much like you: duty before personal needs."

"What do you mean?"

He sighed. "She wasn't a royal. She never truly belonged to the royal court. Much like your new prince, Kristoff. But she had loved someone else. Alas, when the king wants to marry you, you..."

"Marry the king." I finished his sentence.

"She was happy for a while. Right after the wedding she got pregnant with my oldest brother. Then a year later, with my other brother. And, then, me. She made us her world in order to forget her old one. When my father died and my uncle threatened us, she simply couldn't leave for her old love. She had to protect us and the country from an despot bastard." His voice was low and venous. "Resentment can destroy a person, Elsa, and that's what happened to her. We at last found out that her turning point was the day the man she truly loved died. He died before they could live that love together. And it destroyed her. From within"

"It made her a monster." I whispered more for me than for him. Still, he heard it and shook his head, pulling me closer by our joined hands.

"No, never a monster. She wasn't a monster, much like you aren't. She was just a bit lost, with no one to guide her; to help her."

Up close, he stood much taller than I did, so I had to look up to look into his eyes. "And you think that you could help me now?"

He shook his head again. "No, I don't think so."

I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. It was a very disappointed exhale. Subconsciously I had wanted him to tell me that yes, he was my knight in shinning armor. That he would be the one to save me from this pit of despair I found myself in. That he would be the one to make me forget my old life and live a new one, much like his mother did. He had seen her do it. Why couldn't he help me do the same?

As if able to see the sadness of being let down on my features, he raised a hand to my face, caressing my cheek. I was starting to get used to this gesture. And I was starting to assimilate it with a peace I thought I couldn't ever achieve. "I can't help you, Elsa, because only you can help yourself."

I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning into his hand. "What do you mean?"

He disentangled his other hand from my grasp and held my face into both his hands, making me stare directly into his eyes. They were assertive, determined to make me understand. "You have to the power over you destiny. You need to take control of it. Make of it what you want. Don't let yourself be reigned by expectation and duty. Live while you can and don't let anyone interfere in your happiness. You have already suffered a lot for someone so young. A suffering that was partly inflicted by yourself. Don't do that to you anymore. Arendelle is a kind and accepting country and you have no need to be afraid."

I kept on looking at him, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. Could he know about… Anna? He kept on hinting that he did, but how could he? Could he have powers like me? Only mind reading? That thought scared me. I refused to believe that someone could see what went on inside my head. I felt disgusted and violated; my most private thoughts weren't meant to be shared. I had to bear that burden alone. He couldn't read my mind; he surely was a cheap charlatan who was tricking me and I fell for it, fool that I was.

I shook my head, releasing it out of his grasp. Turning away from him, I said. "I'm not afraid of anything."

I could feel him rolling his eyes behind me. "Now, now. We both know that is a lie."

Turning back in anger, I couldn't help raising the volume of my voice and the ice that escaped my outstretched hand. "How can we _both_ know?"

He retreated a step. "I already told you. I'm good at reading people."

I seethed. "No one is that good at reading people." He stood there silent, eyes large. "You're not reading me, you're reading my mind and that is impossible!" I raised my hands to my hair, pulled at it and turned away again, pacing around. My head was in a whirl of thoughts and feelings. Should I trust him? I needed help, but should I? _Should I?_

He let me pace around, letting go of all the frustration and confusion that was inside of me. With every step I took, I could feel the weight on my heart starting to give. Endorphins took over my bloodstream, sending away all dark thoughts and tiring my head and body. Only important things came into focus and I stopped, looking outside the dark window, with my back still turned to him.

In the window I could see our reflection. I looked a mess. Hair in complete disarray; Gods, Gerda would complain my ears off. My jacket was torn in places, revealing the pale white color that was my skin. In my chest area, a big rip showed the bandage I had used to contain my small breast in order to fit into the jacket. My hands still had the bandages he had tied, though blood had seeped through and now they were a stark, angry red. But the worst part of the entire picture was my face. Swollen and with tears streaks on my cheeks. I also hadn't looked dirtier ever before in my life. Dark lines covered my forehead and underneath my eyes. I didn't understand how they got there, but seeing more dark spots on my clothes, I supposed there had been some ink in my parent's bedroom caught in my storm.

Behind me, he stood. A bit tussled up, that's true, but still very much presentable. I took my time to really look at him. He was absolutely handsome, with all the right angles and lines and curves. Since Hans, though, I took to distrust good-looking people with their confidence in themselves and disarming charms. I didn't want them near me or near Anna. I guess at least Kristoff and I shared that opinion. Yet, there was something about him that made me pause. He did look a lot like Anna, a male version of her, one would say. But Anna looked like… _Father_.

Yes, I could see it in his nose and in his poise. Was father back to help me or to punish me for my unnatural feelings and inclinations? Was he here to show me how much I had failed him and how much of a disappointment I was? I saw him open his mouth, no doubt to say, again, that I wasn't a monster. I shook my head before he could utter a word though. I had already understood. I wasn't a monster.

I turned my attention back to myself and something caught my eye: a dark streak in my hair. A dark streak. In my hair. Where once had only been whitish blonde hair. I yelped and took several steps back, until I felt my back hitting his front. He grabbed my by the arms and turned me around.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He asked concerned.

I couldn't speak; I could just raise my hand and grab the offending streak, showing it to him. He looked at it confused. I started yelling.

"Look at that. Look at my hair. It's black. Why is it black? It had never been black. It _shouldn't_ be black. Something is wrong!"

He was still lost. "Wait, slow down a minute. What's the problem with the dark streak?" He narrowed his eyes. "Is this a woman thing?"

I shoved him away with all my strength. It took him by surprise and he tripped, falling on his behind.

"No! It isn't a woman's thing!" How could he not understand what was going on? Gods!

"Then, you'll have to explain it to me because I don't understand."

I started pacing again, faster this time. No, no, no, no, no. This wasn't good. This wasn't good. This was terrible. I could see him getting up in my peripheral vision, but I was too far gone in my own worries to care to explain anything to him.

"Elsa?" I heard him calling. A dark streak of hair couldn't mean something good. Last time it happened it was because I had hit Anna on the head. It killed our relationship. It locked me away in my bedroom. It destroyed our family. And now something was happening to me. Was I freezing? But the cold never bothered me; how could I freeze?

"Elsa, you are scaring me. Please tell me what's going on." I started to go around in circles, following my thought pattern. Granpabbie had said that the head was fixable. It was the heart that was a little complicated. But the head could be persuaded. So I couldn't let it get to my heart. Even though the Great Freeze had already happened, the trolls' prophecy still rang loud and clear inside my head. Yes, I froze the fjords, but I was never really an Ice Queen. I hadn't _meant_ to freeze everything. I just didn't know how to thaw it!

"Elsa!" When Anna's heart finished freezing, she turned into ice. She died. But I had powers; ice was a part of me. The prophecy said something about a ruler with a frozen heart. I can't let it get to my heart. I need to see the trolls. I turned towards him.

"I need to see the trolls." I started to move past him, in the direction of the door. I didn't even need to step by my chambers. I could conjure a more decent attire on the way there. He grabbed my arm.

"Trolls? Wait. Stop. Just stop. Tell me what's going on. I want to help." He pleaded with me, his eyes seemingly genuine. Nevertheless, I had decided that I wouldn't trust him. Even though his story seemed heartfelt and genuine, I still didn't believe him. He was after something and I'd have to play his game, but I would find out what it was.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to think of a way to shorten the lengthy story. "When we were kids, Anna knew I had powers and we played with it. Until one day I froze her head. My parents took her to the trolls and they cured her, but erased all of her memories of my powers. Since that day, she always had a white streak in her head. It only disappeared when she thawed. Streaks in hair always mean something in my family."

"And you want to see the trolls because you think they'd be able to tell you what is wrong with you?" Does he need to repeat everything I say?

"Yes."

He tilted his head to the left in thinking. "But what about the wedding?"

That took me by surprise. I had forgotten about the wedding. "What about it?"

"Weren't you supposed to make the speech?"

I could feel my eyebrows shooting up to my hairline. I had forgotten about the speech. I groaned. Anna would kill me. She had been badgering me with wedding talk for months now and I had just let her down. It was the only thing she couldn't do it herself and I failed at that. What a great sister I was turning out to be. He seemed to take pity on me.

"You forgot, didn't you?" I nodded. "Well, then, come on. Here, take this." He took off his gloves and handed them to me. I looked at him confused. I despised gloves. "To cover the bandages. She will freak out if she sees them." I nodded again. "Now, I hear you can conjure up attires with your powers, right?" I nodded. "Then, do the magic." He smiled and it reminded me so much of Anna it pained my heart.

I nodded one last time (it seemed to be the only thing I could do) and moved my hands, feeling the magic tingling on my fingertips. Soon, I could feel the already familiar feeling of an ice ensemble being made. I created the boots, much similar to the ones Anna had used to go look for me in my ice castle that first time years ago. I could still remember the intricate pattern that adorned the boots. Next, the ice wove around my legs, creating a light blue pair of pants that lightly shone when touched by light. I made it tight, showing off curves that gave me power. I kept the same jacket, inspired by my father's, only fixing the rips that were all over it. Finally, passing a hand through my hair, I used the ice as my natural mousse and put every strand in its place.

"Well, how do I look?"

He just stared at me, mouth slighted agape. I smirked and rolled my eyes. He coughed and stuttered. "Hm, hold on. Only one thing missing."

He stepped closer to me and I felt my heart beating faster again. How he managed to do that by only getting closer to me I didn't understand. I felt utterly betrayed by my body a second time that night. When he was less than a feet a way from me, he reached out inside of his jacket, pulling out a handkerchief. He took my hand in his and put the cloth in it. I was so distracted by his proximity, that I felt the handkerchief quickly freezing and, then, him taking it out. He brought it to his mouth and blew a little bit of hot air, unfreezing it and leaving it only wet. Then, he wiped the dark streaks out of my face. I closed my eyes, simply enjoying him taking care of me. It felt so strange to be this confortable with a man I still knew nothing about and distrusted. When he finished, I could feel his gaze on my face and a hand tugging on my hair, hiding what I knew was the dark streak among the whitish hair.

All too soon, he stepped away and I opened my eyes. "Thank you." I said hoarsely.

He shook his head. "Go get her."

As I went past him, I wondered if he had really meant it.

I rushed back to the ballroom. At some point I even started running. I couldn't miss it. I hadn't really planned a speech. I couldn't get past the first paragraph, which consisted only of greetings to the dignitaries. But I was sure I could think of something quickly. Make some jokes about how clumsy Anna is. Tell people some of our old stories as kids. Stories that I knew she didn't really remember, how when I accidently froze our tutor's teeth. I was sure she would appreciate hearing them, though. So, yes, I had come up with a plan. It was going to be all right. I could take control of my own happiness. And it started with making Anna happy.

As I rounded the corner, I heard voices and laughter, but also a louder voice. Rapunzel's. I quickly sneaked inside the room, feeling its heat hit me square in the chest. Only now I realized how cold my mother's bedroom had been. She was standing in the front table, looking at the guests. She was making a speech.

"I once had a dream. And that dream was fairly simple really: I just wanted to see the floating lanterns gleam. Well, simple in theory because, in reality, that was a very hard and complicated endeavor. But I managed. And my dream changed. My new dream became Eugene and I became his. We filled the empty holes in each other's lives and gave them more meaning. We wouldn't be here without the other. We fight, we argue and we make up. That's marriage. That's love. He is my dream and I am his. And that's what I wish for the newlyweds. That you be each other's dreams." She stepped away from her chair and walked the couple of steps towards Anna and Kristoff, grabbing their joined hands and raising them. She looked my sister straight in the eye and carried on. "Because, my dear cousin, there's no better feeling in the world than waking up and seeing him by your side. He's your dream, but, more importantly, he's your dream come true. Because he's flawed and he's real. Because he snores like a bull and snatches all the covers and kicks you all night so much he won't stop moving. But he is real. He's really there. So, when you wake up tomorrow morning, or afternoon" She giggled. "I wish for you to feel like the world had stopped. Like the only people that exist are the two of you. That's what I know to be happiness. And that's what I wish for you."

She finished and bent down to kiss the newlyweds on their cheeks. I saw people drying tears that had fallen during her speech. Rapunzel had always had the ability to move hearts with only her words. She was a natural charmer that girl. And she had taken my place. _I_ was supposed to make the speech. But I guess Anna couldn't find me and, then, she turned to the person she had wanted to ask all along. I knew it deep down that she thought Rapunzel would have been a better maid of honor. Anna was never really good at hiding what she was thinking or how she felt. Although I felt a wave washing over me, I knew I couldn't blame her. This had been her special day and I had let her down. I wasn't there when she needed me. I could attend all the most boring meetings in the world, but when it came to fulfilling a simple task for Anna, I failed.

I could see Anna burying her face into Kristoff's chest and jealousy spread all over me. I clenched my hands and closed my eyes, counting to ten. They were married now. They had been together for years. I had no right to feel jealous. She wasn't mine. She would _never_ be mine.

Kristoff laughed and I could see they were lost in their own bubble. I seethed and ducked away, heading out. I needed to see the trolls and I would see them that instant. Nothing else was stopping me now. Except I bumped into the splinter in my life that had become this obnoxious prince.

He looked at me in surprise. "Aren't you going to make the speech?"

I moved past him. "Rapunzel has already done it. I'm no longer needed here."

He mentioned to grab my arm, but he had already done it so many times now I could foresee it. I moved away. "You are going to see the trolls." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. You should get in. They are serving the food."

He looked at me as if I had grown two heads. "I'm not hungry."

"I wasn't saying you were."

"Then what were you saying?"

I sighed. "That you should get inside. I no longer need you to help me. I can do fine by myself. Thank you for your handkerchief and your care, but now you go inside and I need to go to the trolls to solve _my_ problem."

He moved closer and I stepped back. He sighed. "I want to help you."

"I don't need your help."

"I didn't say you needed my help."

"The what do you want?" I asked exasperated. He was making me lose precious time.

"To help you." I shook my head. I didn't need his help. He lost a bit of his temper. "Come one, Elsa. After everything that happened in that room, you can't just expect me to walk away!"

My eyes grew large. I couldn't believe he had said that in that way. I moved closer to him, anger sipping out of my body. "First of all, it's Queen Elsa. Second, you might want to watch what you say and how you say it. I don't want any false rumors being spread! Nothing happened and it will stay that way."

I turned around and started to walk away towards the entrance of the castle. But soon enough I heard footsteps behind me.

"I said I didn't want you to tag along!" I said without turning back.

"Well, you can't stop me from following you. You'd have to freeze me and we both know you wouldn't do that!" I could sense the smirk on his voice and that finally send me over the edge. I quickly turned around and cast ice around his legs, gluing him to the ground.

"Well, I can freeze your legs." He groaned and pulled at them, trying to set them free. I laughed and winked blowing him a small kiss.

"You can't do that!" I heard him yell. "You'll cut my circulation off! I might lose my legs!" But I just kept on walking. "Elsa!" I just didn't care anymore.


	14. Chapter 14 - Then leave

So, now we begin the second part of the story. I reckon things will move at a faster pace now. We have more ground to cover.

I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I struggled writing it in the beginning. Then I had to do some research (that's why it took me longer and I'm not posting it on Thursday; and because school happened and then that terrible movie "The Fault in Our Stars" urg). The research was what really got me into it. So much that I wanted to skip to a more forward point in the story, but I resisted.

Anyway, I hope you guys like it. This is from Elsa's POV (as promised) and, as always, reviews and criticism are welcome.

(Btw, last week, I missed one of my regular reviewers. You know who you are!)

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Chapter 14 - Then leave

The gallop of the horse, which usually had a calming effect over me, did nothing to control my nerves. As I was riding, it seemed that everything came back to me and a stronger desperation took over my soul. I felt like that day, many years ago, when my father took us to see the trolls in order to fix Anna's head. Even the ice that had covered the ground we passed was covered in ice once more.

As we went through the trees, I thought I could see something out of the corner of my eye. I pulled the reigns, getting the horse to slow down its pace. It neighed, content in giving its legs a little bit of deserved rest. I looked around as we slowly trotted along the path. I could see nothing on my left, but thought I could see something on my right, almost out of my peripheral vision. I looked right and saw nothing, but felt like I saw movement on my left. Every time I looked a way, it seemed that the movement was elsewhere.

I could sense the temperature dropping and see thin layers of ice starting to cover the leafs. I grabbed the reigns a little tighter and decided that it would be best to run away from whatever it was the lurked in the shadows, rather than staying to find out. Nevertheless, as I was about to tap my horse to go faster, I heard a commotion behind me. I stopped completely and strained my neck to look behind me, though I regretted not simply moving forward.

I knew it had to be a vision. Surely enough my senses were playing a lot of tricks with me tonight, but I wasn't prepared to be faced with _that_. Two horses were coming my way and I easily recognized both of them. I used to see them a lot through my window whenever my parents welcomed other royal families. The horses had their head lowered, but with eyes focused on the road. I could see their muscles straining to respond to the cues my father was giving them. _Faster, faster_, I knew he was saying. Their breaths coming out in white puffs in the cold air I knew was not only mine.

As the horses neared, I could see the figures on them more clearly. They looked exactly as I remembered, as that fateful day was seared into my memories forever. My father had a determined look on his face, sweat dripping on his brow, even though it was cold. His thin mustache was in a disarray typical from when he had to act under pressure. He didn't look scared, but that was King Garoar. He never looked afraid or scared or desperate. My father had the utmost ability to keep his emotions in check under a façade of complete determination or focus. But I knew that he was, deep down, the one that was scared the most. We all relied on him. He had to know what to do; he had to know how to fix everything. If he didn't, we would all crumble. I remember, from riding with him that night, that his hands were shaking and the arms that encircled me were painfully tight.

On the other hand, I now could see that it was incredible that my mother didn't fall of her horse. She had disregarded all of our horse-riding instructor's advice. She had only eyes for a small bundle in her arms: a shivering, pale and cold little Anna. My mother didn't cry as she had knew that crying didn't solve anything. In fact, it only made things worse. She had always been my rock; calm and gentle and loving, whereas my father had always been stern, aware that my powers had to be controlled. But that night, she had lost it. I remember and could now hear her saying _oh my precious baby girl_ over and over again. With only one hand holding the reigns, the other would stroke Anna's hair, always over the white streak that had already appeared.

I didn't need to look at the little girls on that horses. I remembered all of that very vividly. Anna looking more dead with every gallop the horses made and my face drenched and swollen from crying. I cried and I prayed with all my being for those were the only things I could do. I prayed to the Gods that they would spare my little sister; that I was the one cursed, not her; that I would do anything if they only let her live. Although it was only later that my father decided to lock me away, at that moment I had already opened my mind and heart to that possibility. I knew it was my fault and that I would have to be punished for it. I was her big sister. I was the one supposed to protect her away from all the evil in the world. How could I do that if _I _was the evil?

I kept stealing glances at Anna and every time I did, I tried to swallow the lump in my throat because I felt that if I didn't, it would take over me and would only come out in the form of a desperate cry. My mind kept playing over and over the instant the ray left my hand and hit Anna's head. If only I had been faster; if only I had had better aim; if only I hadn't slipped; if only I had listened and understood that my powers were dangerous.

I also wondered what was going through my parents' head. Had they only been so worried about Anna that they had forgotten about me? Or had they wished I had never been born, a cursed burden that could only disappoint? As much as I tried, I wasn't perfect. Sometimes I couldn't control my powers and they would cause some chaos. If freezing our tutors teeth was already very much frowned upon, freezing my sister would probably mean disownment. And perhaps it was for the better... I didn't really think that with all that depth and complexity, but that was only putting into words what I was feeling deep inside of me.

The horses got nearer and the thought of perhaps moving away from them crossed my mind, but it seemed that my motor functions weren't all that agreeable with me that day. I could only stare at them, watching as their tiny black eyes grew larger and larger until they were finally up in my face. It seemed like time had stopped and the world had shifted. We just stood suspended in motion, waiting for something to happen. What it was, we didn't know. But it seemed like it was something of great importance. Then, I blinked and they went through me.

My eyes had to be closed, I guess, for the movement to continue. Nothing was real so I wasn't really seeing that scene unfold before my eyes. But just because it wasn't real, it didn't mean that I couldn't feel it. As the horses went through me, I felt, all at once, all the emotions that that whole moment carried within itself. It was my family's breaking moment. It was a break so big that it took us 13 years and my parents' death to mend it. And even then...

I also felt all of the weight of my current situation with Anna. Was that wedding another break? If my hair had any say in it, it would have said that it was. I had unconsciously changed, I realized that now. I had slowly and progressively changed during the wedding preparations. Whereas I had always been obsessed with planning and with perfection, I had deliberately avoided whatever planning Anna would share with me. I had even accepted a task I knew I was unfit to fulfill. Deep down I wanted that wedding to fail as much as Anna had fought for it to be a success. We clearly didn't want the same things. She wanted a sister, I wanted...

Opening my eyes, I shook my head. I could not go there. Not now. Not when my head was starting to itch and I didn't know whether it was real or psychological. I had a dark streak in my hair and I had surreptitiously changed. I had left that prince frozen to the ground! I had to see the trolls before I became a real menace.

I turned to look forward and could see that the horses were already a long distance ahead of me. I saw the fading ice they left in their wake; my little, weak ice from when I was younger. I had some sort of control over it before that day. Hitting Anna's head made me lose all footing I had in life. But even then, my powers were still in development, much less potent than they were now. I would have never frozen the entire fjord when I was eight. But now... I shudder when thinking the damage I could do. Especially if I didn't control my own mind.

Cueing the horse to spring forward and gallop the rest of the way, I dared myself to catch up to my memories, to beat them to the trolls. It was a pointless dare, but I wanted to win it anyway. I wanted to prove to myself that I could still win; that I still had power. Oh, the irony of it. Queen Elsa of Arendelle, of one of the most powerful kingdoms and the Queen of ice and snow, was powerless, losing an internal battle against her own mind. My mind's greatest power? Anna.

As we sprang forward, I could feel the wind hitting my face; a gentle bit of a cold breeze. It reminded me of the North Mountain. Although I had told Anna that I was happy up there, alone and free, that wasn't true. Yes, I had let it go and accepted my powers. But I wasn't at peace. I couldn't control my ice and I didn't have Anna. All that coronation business, seeing her, laughing with her and having fun with her only reminded me that I had always loved her very much. I felt like Icarus reaching for the sun and, like him, I got my wings burned. Now I was plagued with the acknowledgment of a feeling I didn't know what to do with. I was drowning.

The path became rockier and the horse had to slow down due to the unstable ground. I was getting near, but it seemed I would lose that race after all. As fast as we went, my parents' horses seemed to have gained on us. I strained my eyesight to look for them, but they had become a tiny point in the horizon.

All around me, hot air would suddenly come up from the ground, making the air damp and stuffy. No wonder all those rocks had moss on them. Flowers had sprouted all around, making spring an ever present element. Anna had told me that the trolls really liked flowers and lively colors, making necklaces and decorations out of anything shining. It certainly looked like a magical place and I could feel some tingling in my fingers.

As we went further deep into troll territory, I started to sweat. The jacket felt stuffy and I felt temped to remove it, but decided I should look presentable, as befitted a Queen. Not that I was dressed that queenly, with jacket and boots. But not wanting to take the jacket off, I decided to refresh myself using my powers. I felt like it wasn't one of my brightest ideas. I had frozen that prince's hands and legs; I had a strange dark streak in my hair; I clearly wasn't myself. Those should have been warnings that told me I should have simply taken my jacket off. But I didn't.

I raised my left hand to cast a small flurry over my head; one similar to the one I had created for Olaf. But as soon as my powers left my hand, I felt it burn. It was a searing pain like no pain I had ever felt. I immediately let go of the reigns and clutched my hand to my chest, closing my eyes. The burning feeling only got stronger and I didn't feel my legs slacken, loosening my grip on the horse. I didn't even feel the pain of hitting the ground shoulder first. I didn't hear the horse rearing and neighing. I could only focus on the pain.

I stayed there on the floor, rolling from side to side, tears of pain falling. I tried to scream, but I couldn't. All my energy was focused in dealing with the burn. When it started to spread over the rest of my arm, I stilled. It was too much for me and it spread like wildfire. Fast and quick and destructive. It went up my arm, over my chest, up my neck and settled somewhere in my head. I could see the flames behind my closed eyelids; consuming me from the inside out. I kept looking at them, at their beautiful flickering. It hypnotized me and it took me too long to realize the burning feeling was subsiding. My hand stopped burning and my arm was slowly going back to normal. A few minutes later, the flames went out. I breathed a sign of relief, still lying on the ground, just feeling the rocks against my back muscles, enjoying its roughness, and feeling the dampness that glued my hair to my brow.

Opening my eyes, I looked at the sky full of starts. They looked beautiful, shining so strong and telling stories of love and Gods. My mother used to tell me about Skáldskaparmál, in which the story of Tjatse is told.

Tjatse had managed to persuade Loki to lure Idun out of Asgard with her apples of youth. Loki did as he had promised, luring Idun out of Asgard and into a forest, telling her he had found some apples she might have wanted and that she should take her own for comparison. Tjatse then appeared in his eagle form and grabbed her, flying away to the realm of Thrymheim.

The Gods, being deprived of Idun's apples, began to feel the passing of time and started getting old, so they set to find out what had happened with her. When they found out that Loki helped Tjatse, they threatened him until he agreed to rescue her. Borrowing a magical coat from Freyia that allowed him to take the shape of a falcon, he flew to Thrymheim, finding Idun alone while Tjatse was away at sea. Loki then transformed her into a nut and carried her back to Asgard. When Tjatse returned and found that she was gone, he went after Loki in his eagle form, only to have his feathers burned by the Gods. Falling to the ground, he was killed.

The, Hhis daughter, Skadi, decided that she should avenge her father and went to Asgard ready to fight, but the Gods offered her atonement and compensation and she was placated. She was given the hand of Njord in marriage and Odin took Tjatse's eyes and placed them in the night sky as starts.

I remember my mother reciting the verses for me at night:

"Thrymheim the sixth is called

where Tjatse lived, the terrible giant,

but now Skadi, shining bride of the gods,

lives in her father's ancient courts"

I was lost in Tjatse's eyes in the sky, basking in the memory of my mother putting me to bed. Tjatse's story was one of the many stories my mother had told me. It was our own little ritual. Just ours. She had tried telling Anna some of the stories and, although, my sister seemed interested in the beginning, she soon lost interest. She became bored with the Gods not being exactly fair and with the fact that the stories always carried a bit of gore. _Why must the Gods punish him like that, mother? Couldn't they just, like, ground him for a month? Was it really necessary to kill him and take his eyes out? _Little Anna never understood that rulers had to be hard sometimes, if they wanted to keep everything in order. I reckon she still doesn't understand that.

"There's a big difference, though, between being hard, but just and only being unjust and mean. Although it is big, it seems that most people can't seem to differentiate and more often than not, get lost in their own perversity." A voice said behind me, startling me. I quickly rolled onto my stomach and raised my head, but still couldn't see anyone or anything. There was only a rock a few feet away from me.

I got on my knees and stood up quickly. "Who's there?" But only silence answered me. I looked around once more and realized that my horse had run away, probably after I fell and was writhing in pain on the ground. I decided to walk over to the rock, assuming that someone might be hiding behind it, though being small as it was, it either had to be a dwarf or a small child, both of which I found hard to believe. As I placed my knee on it to look over it, however, it moved. I jumped back shrieking as the rock unfolded itself into an elder troll.

He looked old, rather ancient, although he had a dark blonde mane and eyebrows. He had large ears, kind eyes and was dressed in a green attire covered in glowing yellow crystals with a flowing green cape. Grandpabbie.

"Hello, my child." He said, as he took a few steps away from me.

I blinked unbelievingly until my brain finally caught on. "Grandpabbie, I need your help. Please." I reached out for him, but he raised his hand and took a few steps back more. I frowned.

"Please, don't come any closer."

"Why? What's wrong?"

But he just shook his head and pointed at me. "I'm afraid there isn't much I can do for you now, my child."

"What? What do you mean?" Why couldn't the trolls ever just say what they meant? But he just kept pointing at me, with a sad and resigned look on his face and I knew I had to look at myself to understand what he meant. I raised my hand ready to conjure a thin layer of ice to serve as a mirror, but I saw him flinch slightly and, therefore, I stopped my movement halfway through. I stared at him, trying to comprehend what was happening. He noticed that I had noticed his flinching and mentioned for me to carry on.

I produced a small layer of ice on my left palm and raised my hand so I could examine my head. I was a good thing the layer was stuck to my hand, otherwise it would have fallen and shattered into tiny pieces on the ground. I gasped not really believing my eyes. Where once had been whitish long blonde hair now was short stark black hair. The braid was gone, being replaced by spiked hair. My beautiful, carefully messed braid with snowflakes in it. Tears sprung to my eyes.

My eyes... My mother used to tell me that my eyes were like the peaceful lake in which our castle was build upon. You could see yourself reflected on it, but you could also see the life underneath it. She used to tell me that it didn't matter how much effort I used in masking my features; that she just had to look into my eyes to see what was going on inside of me. But now... Oh, mommy, what happened to me? My eyes were like two dark pools of emotions I couldn't understand. Pain and despair? Darkness? It didn't surprise me anymore that Gandpabbie had been scared. I was scared myself.

I looked at the small, wise troll. "What happened to me?" I choked.

He shook his head again. "I don't know, child. I wish I knew." He sighed and dared to come a little closer but, this time, it was me who took a step back. He stopped. "Your powers had always been unpredictable, Elsa. _You_ had always been unpredictable."

"What-" My voice faltered. "What do you mean?"

He took a step closer. I took a step back. "You are and at the same time aren't the person we predicted in our prophecy."

"About the ruler with the frozen heart?"

"Yes." He nodded. "That ruler was supposed to really have a frozen heart. We didn't say it figuratively, you know. But you, Elsa... You are a good person. Your heart is pure and strong and hot and full of love."

_Love_. I closed my eyes and shuddered hearing that word, my mind going straight to Anna. Grandpabbie noticed. How could my heart be pure if I was filled with those perverted feeling towards my own sister? I grunted. Grandpabbie heard. I opened my eyes and I looked at him. Could he tell? Could he see what was going on inside of me?

"Yes. That makes sense now." He looked down, thinking.

"What makes sense now?" Just give me a straight answer, you... Silly rock! Gods, what was happening to me?

"You shouldn't fight it, Elsa. The more you fight it, the worse it gets."

I grunted. "What? What is it that gets worse? What is it that I'm fighting that I shouldn't be fighting?"

"You know what it is, Elsa. You know it deep inside of yourself."

I buried my head in my hands. I could feel the wave coming on again. He wasn't helping me, he was making me all the more confused. Did I know what he meant? How could I possibly know? There was a small voice in the back of my head telling me that I did know. That I have known all along. But I shut it down. No, I did not know. I refused to think that I knew. That I shouldn't be fighting _that_.

"Please, calm down, child." I could sense the fear creeping into his voice. I was losing control and he knew it. He couldn't help. He never could. Coming here had been a complete waste of time and now I had dark hair!

"Just tell me how to stop it!" I fell down to my knees and I could actually sense him stepping away from me.

"You know how." He voice sounded father away. Almost a whisper. I know how...

"I don't know how!" I closed my eyes as my body jerked upwards, my arms spreading beside me and I felt a ray of ice coming out of me. Time stood still. I felt my fast beating heart coming to a halt and it didn't start beating again. My skin felt exceptionally cold. And my mind just went numb.

When I opened my eyes again, the world had changed. Not only because white snow covered everything, but because I started seeing it differently. Everything looked sharper and more focused. My ears were capable of hearing sounds I had never heard before and my senses tingled with expectation. Expectation of what I was left to wonder, but I just felt like I had this massive power inside of me that I just had to let go... But it wasn't the right time.

It wasn't the right time _yet_. The time would come soon though. Soon...


End file.
